I'd send the equivalent of £7 a head.

that's assuming they live in a normal bit of London, not the middle of Knightsbridge!

Thanks, Nona. The family lives in Isleworth, so no fancy London prices. I couldn't find any Yelp reviews that were helpful.

The website for Captain Hook's (http://hungryhouse.co.uk/captain-hooks/menu) implies a staggering £8.30 a head without any mushy peas.

But I sort of wonder. When I was a kid, going out for fish and chips was a treat. But, by the time my mother died, we'd have been really rather upset if someone had sent £50 or whatever and suggested we have dinner on them.

They're your distant sort of friends and I'm sure you know them better than any of us. But I just wonder whether you're more aware of what was once a treat than the bereaved family are now.

We'd certainly have preferred a handwritten, snailmail-delivered, sincere letter of condolence. Or a donation to a charity, or Interflora-delivered flowers to the funeral. What has the death notice said?

By and large, the British are still leery of cash, in any form, as presents. If it were the teenage boys' 18th birthday, it'd be different: but I'm sure I'm not the only person who'd find your idea (though no doubt meant in the best possible way) rather jarring.

Agree that a fast food dinner may not be in the best of taste as a remembrance.

Obviously you know them best - but I would look at what it said on the obit. Lots have specific charities named.