Ehhh, I'm iffy. There's a big difference between setting a couple up for household life and paying for something that should be a private and personal experience just between the two of them. (For that same reason, I'm also not crazy about lingerie showers...I don't really want to picture the bride wearing her gifts.)

If I'd had all the china, kitchenware, etc. I needed when I got married, I probably would just have requested no presents.

If you do a honeymoon registry I think you also have to be careful how it's structured - some of them are basically a nicer way to ask for cash.

IMHO, it's just another way of asking for money.

Tacky.

I am not in to registries. I give what I like. Even if a couple only wants cash I give a gift if I find something I think they will like.

I dislike the idea of a honeymoon registry. Many couples of been on numerous holidays together as well as living together. I am not a fan at all.

I think that like all registries, honeymoon registries are there for the guests who want to use them, but not a requirement - so if a person is anti-honeymoon registry, or anti-registry in general, then don't buy off the registry. Simple.

DH and I weren't going to register anywhere when we got married, but we kept getting questions about our registry from invited guests, so we registered. Clearly there are people who appreciate a registry and really would prefer to buy from one.

As long as no one is actually forcing anyone to buy something from the registry, I wouldn't mind the idea. It would make it easier for people to buy a gift that will actually be used.

Sure, if you know the couple really well, you could buy something you know they will like. But sometimes you get invited to the wedding of a relative you don't know that well, simply because they automatically invite all the relatives. Or you come up with a brilliant idea and it turns out three or four others also thought it was a good gift idea.

I can't afford any of that stuff myself when I travel. I never do tours or high priced tourist activities. Why in the world would I want to pay for someone else's extravagance?

I paid for my cousin to go "scuba diving" on her honeymoon, but I found out that the money doesn't actually buy a scuba diving experience. The money is just a lump sum that the couple receives and can spend however they wish. I would rather give cash as a gift than give money under the false assumption that I'm actually paying for a certain experience.

Thanks for all of the feedback everyone!

I really appreciated it! My SIL was in her late 30s and had everything for her house. But they were really strapped with $$. They are huge travel ppl so we knew they would be thrilled to have the champagne (which they would never be able to afford themselves) and the snorkel session. Do I care that it might have been a lump sum? Not at all. Giving $, although practical, is tacky and not very original. This way they might have gotten money in the end but they knew how I wanted it spent and they got the items they most wanted for their trip. Everybody wins!

I don't like the idea of a honeymoon registry in lieu of a wedding gift. I think it's overkill and would probably irriate a lot of people - to be asked for a shower gift, a wedding gift and a honeymoon gift.

HOWEVER, if the honeymoon registry was listed on the wedding invitation as one of the choices for a wedding gift then I'd be ok with that. Either way from a business standpoint for Fodor's I'd certainly offer it and let the chips fall where they may.

I think they're great. I would much rather ensure I'm giving someone something they really want and I think a registry, whether it's Bed & Bath, or Wanderable is fine.

No one should ever be expected to give a gift - it doesn't matter if it's someone's wedding, shower or birthday.

I ditto what HunyBadger said.

"I think it's overkill and would probably irriate a lot of people - to be asked for a shower gift, a wedding gift and a honeymoon gift.

HOWEVER, if the honeymoon registry was listed on the wedding invitation as one of the choices for a wedding gift then I'd be ok with that."

Every honeymoon registry that I have ever seen is included as an option for the wedding gift - just like a registry at Bed Bath and Beyond or Macys. Although I wouldn't put it past some greedy people, I have never heard of anyone expecting a "honeymoon" gift.

<<<HOWEVER, if the honeymoon registry was listed on the wedding invitation as one of the choices for a wedding gift then I'd be ok with that.>>>

That's what they are. Instead of buying someone china they'll never use, kitchen appliances they probably already have, etc it's a way to pay for them to do fun things on their honeymoon. It gives people an option other than simply cash/check for couples who really do have everything they want/need.


So many people are already setting up their homes well before they're married (alone, with roommates, with their fiance, etc) that they don't need the traditional wedding gifts and may not have space to store a bunch of stuff.

I'd much rather buy something off of a registry (store, website or for travel) for someone than just buy something I think they might want/need. I usually give a check in a card saying "do something fun with this on your honeymoon" or similar.

In Spain now VERY OFTEN they send a little card with the invitation with their bank account number on it. Kids are getting married so much older, they have all the housewares and this has lost its "tackiness" for many. I still hate the practice.

WOW, that's certainly direct (lincasanova's post)

yes.. WOW is right. I think it's terrible. But so many poele ask the couple's parents for a bank account number as they want to give cash.. that i suppose it came abou tlike that.

Gone are the days of true bridal registries for most. The kids do a registry with ANYTHING, then never get the "things" but get the cash voucher plus a percentage at the big stores like El Corte Inglés and then they buy what they really want. or use it in the supermarket there or travel agency.

It is also expected that the attendees gift approximately what it cost them to invite you to their dinner/ dance.

No one is doing you a favor over here if they invite you to a wedding. Unless you really, really know the person you hope they don't put you on the list.

I think I need to renew my vows and request donations to a honeymoon registry to get a freebie holiday.

I hate the idea

hate what idea?.. renewing your vows or getting a freebie holiday..

Heehee - well for me, I don't care for the nenewing of vows, but I am ok with the honeymoon registry

In some parts of the US, similar to Spain, the expectation is that guests "cover their plate charge" with their wedding gift. I think that is completely silly - guests should give at a level that they are comfortable with and the people hosting the reception should make choices about food, etc. based on what they can afford. This tit-for-tat business is lame. Besides, how is a guest even supposed to know how much is spent on the plate?

Tacky, tacky & tacky.

I totally agree.. tacky tacky tacky.. and "try to cover the plate fee" is usually just a generous round number per person. Obviously everyone does what he wants/ can.. but I would assume there would be surprised looks if they received a much smaller amount than they were hoping from a mature couple.

Hopefully they wouldn't be upset.. as I have never been close enough to know or hear.. but this is how I FEEL it has been working for years.

My best friend got married last year and being strapped for actual cash the best gift I gave her was my time. I came in 3 days prior to the wedding and asked her what still needed to be done. Then with the help of her family made sure it got done. Simply running errands, creating and printing the place cards, getting all the stuff to the venue, etc ended up being a big help for her.

I never use a "plate charge" gauge for my gift although I do look at their registry to see what they may need. In the end I get what I can afford and try to make it meaningful.

Another friend I made her wedding dress as the gift she just bought the fabric and trims.

Gifts should be treasured for the thought behind them not the money. IMO

I agree.