Are The Vikings Really Bad in Scandinavia in September?
Apr 18th, 2006, 04:48 PM
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Are The Vikings Really Bad in Scandinavia in September?
Betty and Billy Jones ([email protected])
Hello, I'm new to the forum and am planning our (my hubby and myself) trip to Europe. We want to go to Scandinavia in late September, but our son's history book has storys about these Vikings. I for one don't want to be raped and pillaged while we're in our hotel room on our trip. I hope I'm not overreacting. Do you suggest we get those helmets with horns to fit in and not seem so "U.S." -ish? I could get the one with the braided hair hanging out and my hubby said he'd wear the one without the hair. We just don't want to be pegged as tourists when we tour around Dutchland and the Scandinavian country.
By the way, what language is spoken in Scandinavia? I assume Scandinavian but we'll spend most of our time in Amsterdam anyway while there. And how much would a typical McDonald's meal cost? Just for comparison of course. We want to eat raw meats and Raindeer and other Scandinavian meals so we really soak up the culture. Please help us! You all seem so knowledgeable! The Jones's.
P.S. Will the Scandinavian peoples take dollars or should we convert to Scandinavian dollars before we go? Where should we do that? Dunkeshien.
Bjorn ([email protected])
I don't think it's fair to blame the Vikings every time somebody is raped or someplace is pillaged. Lots of us Vikings are hardworking and honest, despite having to put up with a bad climate and too many dried fish for dinner. So if you can't have a more open mind, maybe you should stay home. Those Dutch, on the other hand...
Elvira
The Vikings have been a sorry excuse since Tarkenton retired.
Bjorn ([email protected])
I never met a Viking I didn't like. Can't say the same about Americans, though.
Ger
Hey Bjorn, the lady asked a civil question. Being Irish, I blame the fact that we are a depressed and troubled people on the fact that YOU Vikings did SO much pillaging and raping on us in the 800s - now say you are sorry!
Re MacDonalds: don't forget to try the McMackeral burger (rolled, raw fish on a bed of lichen - has been very slow to catch on in the U.S. except for Minnisota) and their Caribou McNuggets with Lingonberry dip.
Re foreign exchange: They still use the battering system, so bring your old clothes, chewing gum (used is ok too) and nylon stockings.
Re fashion: Now in THIS field, I am an expert. Bring no less than 3 pairs of shoes for each day of your visit. A chastity belt, worn on the outside should help you avoid any unwanted attentions by amorous Vikings and horny reindeer. The helmet would be a nice addition to any outfit. For Spring, the designers are showing some interesting accessories including a long broadsword and matching shield.
Re language: try the language tapes put out by the Swedish Chef from the Muppets - “Furgen durgen swurgen” means "Can I have a room with a bidet that has a view of the Alps and the Eiffel tower."
If you are going in August than I would highly recommend the "ICE HOTEL" just a short taxi ride from Stockholm in the Artic Circle. I have heard that rates are very reasonable during high summer.
Hope this helps and look forward to your trip report. Best regards ... Ger
Book Chick
Ger, ROTLMAO!!!!!!!!
Mrs. Jones, please don't forget a nicely polished breast plate as part of your ensemble. (It can also deflect arrows effectively should the natives prove somewhat inclined toward violence.)
Ger
BookChick: ROTLMAO!!!!!!!! is that Viking or Gaelic???
Bjorn ([email protected])
Ger, I really think you should get over this victim mentality. Nowadays everybody wants to blame somebody else for their problems. I wasn't even around in the 800's when your poor great-great-great-whatever was raped and/or pillaged, so why should I feel responsible. Besides, where do you think the Irish get their sparkling blue eyes? So you owe us a lot.
I do agree with you about the Swedish chef, though. We Vikings really appreciate it you can manage at least a few polite expressions like "What time does the sun rise around here?"
Another good idea for preparing for a trip to Scandinavia is to spend as much time as possible in Ikea. If you buy a lampshade there and wear it on your head during your trip, nobody will know you're not Swedish.
Bjorn ([email protected])
Hi. Suddenly a lot of Bjorns entered the stage. I'm glad forenames and Norwegian competence do not go together. Bjorn is Norwegian for Bear. And Vikings are people from the viks, i.e. the small bays. Especially along Norway's western coastline. Some south of Bergen, at the entrance of Hardanger Fjord, you will find Alvik, the vik of the Al, old Norwegian for some kind of tree. So, here I am. Bjorn the Viking, alias Bjorn Alvik, or maybe beer all week?
Whatever you want, except for being described as a rapists or a Swede.
Certainly we know all the languages. Norwegian, however, is supreme to both Danish and Swedish or whatever "scandinavian" dialect you might prefer.
Denmark, Finland and Sweden belongs to EU. So do their money. Norwegian money is independent of that. The NOK is more dependent on your supreme USD. That's why we feel so well and are proud of ourselves all the time.
Welcome to Norway. Especially in September as the nights grow dark, waiting for the Trolls to come out and the snow to fall.
Hello, I'm new to the forum and am planning our (my hubby and myself) trip to Europe. We want to go to Scandinavia in late September, but our son's history book has storys about these Vikings. I for one don't want to be raped and pillaged while we're in our hotel room on our trip. I hope I'm not overreacting. Do you suggest we get those helmets with horns to fit in and not seem so "U.S." -ish? I could get the one with the braided hair hanging out and my hubby said he'd wear the one without the hair. We just don't want to be pegged as tourists when we tour around Dutchland and the Scandinavian country.
By the way, what language is spoken in Scandinavia? I assume Scandinavian but we'll spend most of our time in Amsterdam anyway while there. And how much would a typical McDonald's meal cost? Just for comparison of course. We want to eat raw meats and Raindeer and other Scandinavian meals so we really soak up the culture. Please help us! You all seem so knowledgeable! The Jones's.
P.S. Will the Scandinavian peoples take dollars or should we convert to Scandinavian dollars before we go? Where should we do that? Dunkeshien.
Bjorn ([email protected])
I don't think it's fair to blame the Vikings every time somebody is raped or someplace is pillaged. Lots of us Vikings are hardworking and honest, despite having to put up with a bad climate and too many dried fish for dinner. So if you can't have a more open mind, maybe you should stay home. Those Dutch, on the other hand...
Elvira
The Vikings have been a sorry excuse since Tarkenton retired.
Bjorn ([email protected])
I never met a Viking I didn't like. Can't say the same about Americans, though.
Ger
Hey Bjorn, the lady asked a civil question. Being Irish, I blame the fact that we are a depressed and troubled people on the fact that YOU Vikings did SO much pillaging and raping on us in the 800s - now say you are sorry!
Re MacDonalds: don't forget to try the McMackeral burger (rolled, raw fish on a bed of lichen - has been very slow to catch on in the U.S. except for Minnisota) and their Caribou McNuggets with Lingonberry dip.
Re foreign exchange: They still use the battering system, so bring your old clothes, chewing gum (used is ok too) and nylon stockings.
Re fashion: Now in THIS field, I am an expert. Bring no less than 3 pairs of shoes for each day of your visit. A chastity belt, worn on the outside should help you avoid any unwanted attentions by amorous Vikings and horny reindeer. The helmet would be a nice addition to any outfit. For Spring, the designers are showing some interesting accessories including a long broadsword and matching shield.
Re language: try the language tapes put out by the Swedish Chef from the Muppets - “Furgen durgen swurgen” means "Can I have a room with a bidet that has a view of the Alps and the Eiffel tower."
If you are going in August than I would highly recommend the "ICE HOTEL" just a short taxi ride from Stockholm in the Artic Circle. I have heard that rates are very reasonable during high summer.
Hope this helps and look forward to your trip report. Best regards ... Ger
Book Chick
Ger, ROTLMAO!!!!!!!!
Mrs. Jones, please don't forget a nicely polished breast plate as part of your ensemble. (It can also deflect arrows effectively should the natives prove somewhat inclined toward violence.)
Ger
BookChick: ROTLMAO!!!!!!!! is that Viking or Gaelic???
Bjorn ([email protected])
Ger, I really think you should get over this victim mentality. Nowadays everybody wants to blame somebody else for their problems. I wasn't even around in the 800's when your poor great-great-great-whatever was raped and/or pillaged, so why should I feel responsible. Besides, where do you think the Irish get their sparkling blue eyes? So you owe us a lot.
I do agree with you about the Swedish chef, though. We Vikings really appreciate it you can manage at least a few polite expressions like "What time does the sun rise around here?"
Another good idea for preparing for a trip to Scandinavia is to spend as much time as possible in Ikea. If you buy a lampshade there and wear it on your head during your trip, nobody will know you're not Swedish.
Bjorn ([email protected])
Hi. Suddenly a lot of Bjorns entered the stage. I'm glad forenames and Norwegian competence do not go together. Bjorn is Norwegian for Bear. And Vikings are people from the viks, i.e. the small bays. Especially along Norway's western coastline. Some south of Bergen, at the entrance of Hardanger Fjord, you will find Alvik, the vik of the Al, old Norwegian for some kind of tree. So, here I am. Bjorn the Viking, alias Bjorn Alvik, or maybe beer all week?
Whatever you want, except for being described as a rapists or a Swede.
Certainly we know all the languages. Norwegian, however, is supreme to both Danish and Swedish or whatever "scandinavian" dialect you might prefer.
Denmark, Finland and Sweden belongs to EU. So do their money. Norwegian money is independent of that. The NOK is more dependent on your supreme USD. That's why we feel so well and are proud of ourselves all the time.
Welcome to Norway. Especially in September as the nights grow dark, waiting for the Trolls to come out and the snow to fall.
Apr 18th, 2006, 04:49 PM
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Book Chick
Ger, It's the abbreviation for: Rolling On the Floor, Laughing My A** Off! And yes, I'm still laughing!!!!
Bjorn ([email protected])
To the real Norwegian Bjorn: You have found me out! I'm not really named Bjorn. As you well know, everybody wants to be Norwegian; that is why I used your lovely name as a pseudonym. By the way, did you know that Americans often confuse your viks with something called Vicks that they rub on their chests when they have a cold? Those New Worlders!
Ger
OK Swedish Bjorn, I'll admit that the two things of worth you left behind in Ireland were my dazzling blue eyes and blond hair, which is why I'm often mistaken for a long-lost cousin when visiting Vikingland. However, your ancestors checked some precious manuscripts out of the monastic library in Kells and have yet to return them. Current estimate on overdue charges is in the region of your Gross Domestic Product for the next 300 years. Pay up, or leave them back!
Favorite saying of visitors in January is actually "Does the sun EVER come up?" Your very distant cousin ...Ger
Bjorn Borg ([email protected])
You are almost right. Until I left the tennis court, sun occasionally shined in Sweden. Not any more. Good advice: Go Norway. Even in January. Give the other Bjorns my best regards.
Capo
Just remember...it takes a group of Vikings to raze a village.
Bjorn ([email protected])
Dear Cousin Ger, so sorry about the manuscripts. We Scandinavians are a through and deliberate people and have not yet finished reading them. Perhaps if we overcharge the Jones family and other naive tourists enough for their McMackeral burgers and other treats, we will soon have enough to pay the fine.
Speaking of burgers, I'm surprised that nobody has warned the Joneses, who want to eat raw meat, about the danger of Mad Reindeer Disease. A mad reindeer can be a dangerous thing, what with those big horns.
Bjorn ([email protected])
Of course, I meant that we are a "thorough" people, not a "through" one. We are by no means through.
Mr. Go
Yes, they can be pretty bad in September. They usually get much better toward the second half of the season, only to choke in the playoffs. Go Bears!
Cigalechanta ([email protected])
Troll-la,la-la,la, la-la-la-la.
Kavey
Cigale...Are you proudly stating that you have figured out this is not a serious thread? Oh brother...scary people out there... Hey Mr Viking, you can come pillage my pillow any time!!!
Mimi Taylor (Cigalechanta)
For Kavey, No, I just felt the urge to sing.
Betty and Billy Jones ([email protected])
Wow! Thanks so much for your quick replies. I posted early this afternoon, popped out to pick up the kids from the Y, and I've got all these wonderful answers! I will read them thoroughly and take all of this great advice to heart. Thanks for helping us get our vacation off to a good start!
Kavey
Mimi, let me join you... Ogre la la laaa la laaaaaaaaaaa (Why do we always pick on the trolls?)
Iwasbyorn ([email protected].)
Let’s get back to the Jones’ questions, shall we? Vikings won’t likely be a problem in September. Mostly they’ll all still be on the beach on the Costa Brava, looking for easy Spanish thrills and listening to cassettes of Abba, or that Icelandic hottie, Djvrk. Raping and pillaging now requires a license from the Scandinavian government. Most licenses now are granted only to Latvian guest workers, who promise to rape and pillage only in Thailand. The unit of currency is not the Scandinavian Dollar, nor the Euro (Sweden objected) but the Kreppxr. The exchange rate is 100 Krep to the Lira. For ease of exchange, bring beads.
You can see the Northern Lights from most McLutefisk parking lots. Beware, though, because the lutefisk is allegedly flavored with beef drippings. Everyone in Scandinavia will be glued to the TV during September, anyway, watching the Twins win the pennant.
Ger, It's the abbreviation for: Rolling On the Floor, Laughing My A** Off! And yes, I'm still laughing!!!!
Bjorn ([email protected])
To the real Norwegian Bjorn: You have found me out! I'm not really named Bjorn. As you well know, everybody wants to be Norwegian; that is why I used your lovely name as a pseudonym. By the way, did you know that Americans often confuse your viks with something called Vicks that they rub on their chests when they have a cold? Those New Worlders!
Ger
OK Swedish Bjorn, I'll admit that the two things of worth you left behind in Ireland were my dazzling blue eyes and blond hair, which is why I'm often mistaken for a long-lost cousin when visiting Vikingland. However, your ancestors checked some precious manuscripts out of the monastic library in Kells and have yet to return them. Current estimate on overdue charges is in the region of your Gross Domestic Product for the next 300 years. Pay up, or leave them back!
Favorite saying of visitors in January is actually "Does the sun EVER come up?" Your very distant cousin ...Ger
Bjorn Borg ([email protected])
You are almost right. Until I left the tennis court, sun occasionally shined in Sweden. Not any more. Good advice: Go Norway. Even in January. Give the other Bjorns my best regards.
Capo
Just remember...it takes a group of Vikings to raze a village.
Bjorn ([email protected])
Dear Cousin Ger, so sorry about the manuscripts. We Scandinavians are a through and deliberate people and have not yet finished reading them. Perhaps if we overcharge the Jones family and other naive tourists enough for their McMackeral burgers and other treats, we will soon have enough to pay the fine.
Speaking of burgers, I'm surprised that nobody has warned the Joneses, who want to eat raw meat, about the danger of Mad Reindeer Disease. A mad reindeer can be a dangerous thing, what with those big horns.
Bjorn ([email protected])
Of course, I meant that we are a "thorough" people, not a "through" one. We are by no means through.
Mr. Go
Yes, they can be pretty bad in September. They usually get much better toward the second half of the season, only to choke in the playoffs. Go Bears!
Cigalechanta ([email protected])
Troll-la,la-la,la, la-la-la-la.
Kavey
Cigale...Are you proudly stating that you have figured out this is not a serious thread? Oh brother...scary people out there... Hey Mr Viking, you can come pillage my pillow any time!!!
Mimi Taylor (Cigalechanta)
For Kavey, No, I just felt the urge to sing.
Betty and Billy Jones ([email protected])
Wow! Thanks so much for your quick replies. I posted early this afternoon, popped out to pick up the kids from the Y, and I've got all these wonderful answers! I will read them thoroughly and take all of this great advice to heart. Thanks for helping us get our vacation off to a good start!
Kavey
Mimi, let me join you... Ogre la la laaa la laaaaaaaaaaa (Why do we always pick on the trolls?)
Iwasbyorn ([email protected].)
Let’s get back to the Jones’ questions, shall we? Vikings won’t likely be a problem in September. Mostly they’ll all still be on the beach on the Costa Brava, looking for easy Spanish thrills and listening to cassettes of Abba, or that Icelandic hottie, Djvrk. Raping and pillaging now requires a license from the Scandinavian government. Most licenses now are granted only to Latvian guest workers, who promise to rape and pillage only in Thailand. The unit of currency is not the Scandinavian Dollar, nor the Euro (Sweden objected) but the Kreppxr. The exchange rate is 100 Krep to the Lira. For ease of exchange, bring beads.
You can see the Northern Lights from most McLutefisk parking lots. Beware, though, because the lutefisk is allegedly flavored with beef drippings. Everyone in Scandinavia will be glued to the TV during September, anyway, watching the Twins win the pennant.
Apr 18th, 2006, 04:51 PM
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Betty and Billy Jones ([email protected])
Thank you, Iwasbyorn, for your honest reply. I see now that some of the previous replies to my question were just playful and mean. I doubt I'll ever come back to this forum after today.
To clarify, we're going to Scandinavia, not Switzerland (that's close to Greece, we'll be in the north). We'll be in Amsterdam and would like to see the nether lands when we walk around in Scandinavia. Can I send off to American Express to get some Kreppxr before we arrive? I guess with such a good exchange rate that it will be really cheap (everything will only cost about 1/100th what we're used to! What a bargain! Why don't other people make a big deal out of this exchange rate? It seems really good to me!).
Do you know where we can find some fresh lutafisk? It's one of the few Scandic foods I enjoy since I have fish allergies. Where is McLutafish located? And you're joking about the twins, right? If they will be in town, we'd love to see them and can run up to Moscow for the evening since we're crazy basketball hooligans. I guess we'll just fit in! Will an international driver's license be all right to drive a dogsled? Do those drive on the left or the right?
Gypsy
The Vikings are terrible pickpockets. Wear a money belt with nothing in it. Don't drink the water in Amsterdam, or anywhere else in Scandinavia for that matter. Don't inflict your noisy children on us. Beware of second-hand smoke. Bring a washcloth. You should be ashamed of your racist attitudes towards Vikings anyway. You are really Rex, aren't you? Or Mellen Candage!
Svensen ([email protected])
To the Joneses, don't forget to memorize everything that's recorded by ABBA !
Al Gordon
I thought Vikings was another term for mosquitoes. And for the record, have no desire to be Norwegian, Swedish, or Danish. I like my Mongol ancestry.
Euromonkey
As the great Viking poet Fjord Hammerthrower said: "hurdy gurdy torgun morgen pootle footle bork bork bork herring." I think we can all learn something from that.
Dan Woodlief
Just wear a Randy Moss jersey, some horns, and you will fit in. Tell them you hate Packers & Bears.
Ohoh ([email protected])
Hey! My Norwegian bachelor Uncle Bjorn in Nebraska always told me lutefisk had to be aged in formaldehyde or something like that. You don't want to eat it fresh! EWEUUUUUUUUU! That would be like eating raw french fries.
B ([email protected])
Formaldehyde is completly wrong. So are any suggestions on fresh lutefisk. Lutefisk is a plutonomized fresh cod. Simple as that. Served with a lot of goodies, and swallowed by hectoliters of Aquavite, the famous Norwegian potato spirits. Hikk Skel!!
Brooklyn Boy
I will be visiting Scandinavia this year. Does anyone know if it is rude to call a Viking a "squarehead"? Will they be offended?
Book Chick
Brooklyn Boy, Yes, it is a derogatory term. Preferred terms are "white head", "horn head" or "helmet head". Hope this clears things up.
Capo
On a somewhat-related note... I'd read that the red hair we all tend to associate with the Irish actually originated in Scandinavia and made its way to Ireland when the Vikings, or other Norsemen, invaded the Emerald Isle.
Audrey
Betty and Billy, I highly recommend that you run to your local video store and rent the Tim Robbins film "Erik the Viking". This movie is a terrific travel flick which also gives the viewer an intimate glimpse of Viking village life. You will definitely want to stay in a village when you go - the cities just don't offer the same "slice of life" opportunities.
Robin
Thanks! This wins my vote for best post! Go Betty Go!!
AlmostForgot ([email protected])
Will we be able to have ice in our cokes while we're there? Is there any ice in the nether lands?
Thank you, Iwasbyorn, for your honest reply. I see now that some of the previous replies to my question were just playful and mean. I doubt I'll ever come back to this forum after today.
To clarify, we're going to Scandinavia, not Switzerland (that's close to Greece, we'll be in the north). We'll be in Amsterdam and would like to see the nether lands when we walk around in Scandinavia. Can I send off to American Express to get some Kreppxr before we arrive? I guess with such a good exchange rate that it will be really cheap (everything will only cost about 1/100th what we're used to! What a bargain! Why don't other people make a big deal out of this exchange rate? It seems really good to me!).
Do you know where we can find some fresh lutafisk? It's one of the few Scandic foods I enjoy since I have fish allergies. Where is McLutafish located? And you're joking about the twins, right? If they will be in town, we'd love to see them and can run up to Moscow for the evening since we're crazy basketball hooligans. I guess we'll just fit in! Will an international driver's license be all right to drive a dogsled? Do those drive on the left or the right?
Gypsy
The Vikings are terrible pickpockets. Wear a money belt with nothing in it. Don't drink the water in Amsterdam, or anywhere else in Scandinavia for that matter. Don't inflict your noisy children on us. Beware of second-hand smoke. Bring a washcloth. You should be ashamed of your racist attitudes towards Vikings anyway. You are really Rex, aren't you? Or Mellen Candage!
Svensen ([email protected])
To the Joneses, don't forget to memorize everything that's recorded by ABBA !
Al Gordon
I thought Vikings was another term for mosquitoes. And for the record, have no desire to be Norwegian, Swedish, or Danish. I like my Mongol ancestry.
Euromonkey
As the great Viking poet Fjord Hammerthrower said: "hurdy gurdy torgun morgen pootle footle bork bork bork herring." I think we can all learn something from that.
Dan Woodlief
Just wear a Randy Moss jersey, some horns, and you will fit in. Tell them you hate Packers & Bears.
Ohoh ([email protected])
Hey! My Norwegian bachelor Uncle Bjorn in Nebraska always told me lutefisk had to be aged in formaldehyde or something like that. You don't want to eat it fresh! EWEUUUUUUUUU! That would be like eating raw french fries.
B ([email protected])
Formaldehyde is completly wrong. So are any suggestions on fresh lutefisk. Lutefisk is a plutonomized fresh cod. Simple as that. Served with a lot of goodies, and swallowed by hectoliters of Aquavite, the famous Norwegian potato spirits. Hikk Skel!!
Brooklyn Boy
I will be visiting Scandinavia this year. Does anyone know if it is rude to call a Viking a "squarehead"? Will they be offended?
Book Chick
Brooklyn Boy, Yes, it is a derogatory term. Preferred terms are "white head", "horn head" or "helmet head". Hope this clears things up.
Capo
On a somewhat-related note... I'd read that the red hair we all tend to associate with the Irish actually originated in Scandinavia and made its way to Ireland when the Vikings, or other Norsemen, invaded the Emerald Isle.
Audrey
Betty and Billy, I highly recommend that you run to your local video store and rent the Tim Robbins film "Erik the Viking". This movie is a terrific travel flick which also gives the viewer an intimate glimpse of Viking village life. You will definitely want to stay in a village when you go - the cities just don't offer the same "slice of life" opportunities.
Robin
Thanks! This wins my vote for best post! Go Betty Go!!
AlmostForgot ([email protected])
Will we be able to have ice in our cokes while we're there? Is there any ice in the nether lands?
Apr 18th, 2006, 04:52 PM
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Mel
This is SUCH a great thread! I had a few "good ones" that I was going to add, but Capo stopped me dead with his: "It takes a group of Vikings to raze a village." THAT was absolutely priceless!!!
Rosenatti
I am pleased to see Capo getting some belated recognition for his play on words. Raping and pillaging is all very well and good, but a good pun is hard to find. Especially among Vikings. No humor. None. But very efficient, especially when pillaging. And those blue eyes...
Elvira
This has been haunting me for two days - can you get lutefisk in a tube?
Betty and Billy Jones ([email protected])
I am glad that this little Fotorite click is getting off with cheeky replies to my very honest questions. Billy and I have been reading your posts in our plea and others here at Fotors.com and we are disgusted! Some of you should be ashamed of yourselves!!! People like us who don't travel much ask real questions and I see now that we were being fed a bunch of stuf*! I'm writing to the Fotor's editors and axing them to remove the silly and plain mean replies.
To those of you who offered some good information, thank you. Now we just have to sort it all out.
Another REAL question: Do you think I can find some of Garrison Keillor's family there, like his moremore or his farfart, and get them to sign my copy of Lake Wobegon Days?
Innocent ([email protected])
You should definitely get the Viking helmets while you're there. We brought them home as souvenirs and are very happy with them. My husband puts his on (and nothing else) and chases me around the house with his cardboard sword and I'm the innocent village girl trying to flee the grasps of the mighty Viking. Something to keep in mind, you shouldn't answer the door during these escapades.
Ohoh ([email protected])
As I recall, when the Winter Olympics were last there, a sort of orthodontic gadget which hooked over the wearer's ears and in the corners of his/her mouth was created and distributed to those lucky locals who managed to get event tickets. This was so that crowds watching events such as cross-country skiing, ski jumping, downhill, etc would appear to worldwide audiences to be smiling and bright when the cameras panned the heavily garbed spectators.
And no, you won't find Garrison's relatives unless they are there on an unusual holiday trip. All our Scandinavian relatives came over with Liv Ulman and Max vonSomething around 1800 to become farmers in the great midwestern states. Their heirs have since sold those prosperous farms to big Agribusiness and retired to Hawaii, Naples FL, Phoenix AZ or San Diego CA. Genetically snowbound people, when given the opportunity to be warm 24/7, smile a lot more and drink much less. It has also produced an end to the raping and plundering, which were simply the product of finding another place that wasn't warm or bright enough...
Protecting Myself ([email protected])
Have you heard about the new variety of Norwegian oats? It's tall, light-colored and empty-headed.
Anon ([email protected])
Geography 101: Why is Denmark associated with the Scandinavian countries? I can understand why Norway, Sweden, Finland and Iceland are put under this category - most likely due to geography, but why Denmark? It's on the south side of the North Sea and Baltic Sea - and its next door neighbor is Germany.
It can't be because of blonde hair and blue eyes that Denmark is associated with the Scandinavian term because then wouldn't that mean that Germany was Scandinavian also.
Please excuse my ignorance - I'm an American and we Americans aren't taught about geography.
Viks VapoRube
Speaking of "it takes a pillage...." Don't miss PillageFest in latter October - a recreation of some great moments in Viking history! The WarGames Banquet is the high point, when a town elder dressed as the Seventh Seal circulates among the tourists, singling out those wearing white running shoes for ridicule.
But one warning: it takes a little while to get used to all those self-indulgent tall people. Their parents never taught them the meaning of the word "nay" at dinner, and it's costing the Scandihoovian government a fortune to accommodate their height in public buildings. Foreigners of normal height may be uncomfortable in the oversize furniture, and one hazard of travel there is a stiff neck from looking up at these people to talk to them. I'm sure it's all because of the rampant socialism over there.
Anon ([email protected])
Could it be language? Swedish friends of ours understand Danish well enough to reply in Swedish and have their answer understood.
This is SUCH a great thread! I had a few "good ones" that I was going to add, but Capo stopped me dead with his: "It takes a group of Vikings to raze a village." THAT was absolutely priceless!!!
Rosenatti
I am pleased to see Capo getting some belated recognition for his play on words. Raping and pillaging is all very well and good, but a good pun is hard to find. Especially among Vikings. No humor. None. But very efficient, especially when pillaging. And those blue eyes...
Elvira
This has been haunting me for two days - can you get lutefisk in a tube?
Betty and Billy Jones ([email protected])
I am glad that this little Fotorite click is getting off with cheeky replies to my very honest questions. Billy and I have been reading your posts in our plea and others here at Fotors.com and we are disgusted! Some of you should be ashamed of yourselves!!! People like us who don't travel much ask real questions and I see now that we were being fed a bunch of stuf*! I'm writing to the Fotor's editors and axing them to remove the silly and plain mean replies.
To those of you who offered some good information, thank you. Now we just have to sort it all out.
Another REAL question: Do you think I can find some of Garrison Keillor's family there, like his moremore or his farfart, and get them to sign my copy of Lake Wobegon Days?
Innocent ([email protected])
You should definitely get the Viking helmets while you're there. We brought them home as souvenirs and are very happy with them. My husband puts his on (and nothing else) and chases me around the house with his cardboard sword and I'm the innocent village girl trying to flee the grasps of the mighty Viking. Something to keep in mind, you shouldn't answer the door during these escapades.
Ohoh ([email protected])
As I recall, when the Winter Olympics were last there, a sort of orthodontic gadget which hooked over the wearer's ears and in the corners of his/her mouth was created and distributed to those lucky locals who managed to get event tickets. This was so that crowds watching events such as cross-country skiing, ski jumping, downhill, etc would appear to worldwide audiences to be smiling and bright when the cameras panned the heavily garbed spectators.
And no, you won't find Garrison's relatives unless they are there on an unusual holiday trip. All our Scandinavian relatives came over with Liv Ulman and Max vonSomething around 1800 to become farmers in the great midwestern states. Their heirs have since sold those prosperous farms to big Agribusiness and retired to Hawaii, Naples FL, Phoenix AZ or San Diego CA. Genetically snowbound people, when given the opportunity to be warm 24/7, smile a lot more and drink much less. It has also produced an end to the raping and plundering, which were simply the product of finding another place that wasn't warm or bright enough...
Protecting Myself ([email protected])
Have you heard about the new variety of Norwegian oats? It's tall, light-colored and empty-headed.
Anon ([email protected])
Geography 101: Why is Denmark associated with the Scandinavian countries? I can understand why Norway, Sweden, Finland and Iceland are put under this category - most likely due to geography, but why Denmark? It's on the south side of the North Sea and Baltic Sea - and its next door neighbor is Germany.
It can't be because of blonde hair and blue eyes that Denmark is associated with the Scandinavian term because then wouldn't that mean that Germany was Scandinavian also.
Please excuse my ignorance - I'm an American and we Americans aren't taught about geography.
Viks VapoRube
Speaking of "it takes a pillage...." Don't miss PillageFest in latter October - a recreation of some great moments in Viking history! The WarGames Banquet is the high point, when a town elder dressed as the Seventh Seal circulates among the tourists, singling out those wearing white running shoes for ridicule.
But one warning: it takes a little while to get used to all those self-indulgent tall people. Their parents never taught them the meaning of the word "nay" at dinner, and it's costing the Scandihoovian government a fortune to accommodate their height in public buildings. Foreigners of normal height may be uncomfortable in the oversize furniture, and one hazard of travel there is a stiff neck from looking up at these people to talk to them. I'm sure it's all because of the rampant socialism over there.
Anon ([email protected])
Could it be language? Swedish friends of ours understand Danish well enough to reply in Swedish and have their answer understood.
Apr 18th, 2006, 04:53 PM
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Book Chick
Actually, it takes a Viking pillage to raze any village!
Betty and Billy Jones ([email protected])
WOULD YOU PEOPLE JUST SHUT UP AND ANSWER OUR QUESTIONS!!! MY GOD, I CAN SEE NOW WHY SOME PEOPLE BREEZE IN HERE AND LEAVE AND NEVER COME BACK. YOU ALL NEED TO GET A LIFE AND OFFER SOME REAL HELP FOR US!!!!!!
Dawn
The reason people are making fun of you is because none of us can believe that anyone cruising around Fodor's could be so ignorant about travel and geography. For example, you say, "what language is spoken in Scandinavia? I assume Scandinavian" What? There is not such thing as a single Scandinavian language? Scandinavia is a region not a country. Several languages are spoken in that part of the world. While there are similarities between them, the people in Denmark do not speak the same language and the Swedes.
Also, who in their right mind would assume that a European country would accept dollars? Does your local grocery store accept German Marks and Austrian Schillings? This is why people are making fun of you. And I am not even touching the costume and Viking questions you had.
Anon ([email protected])
But anon - from what I understand neither the Danes nor the Swedes nor the Norwegians can understand the Finns. Seems that Finnish is from the same indo-euro branch that Hungarian and Estonian are from but are now so different there is no similarity - unlike the romance languages. I don't know anything about Icelandic maybe Djork might be able to enlighten us.
Sidenote - is the nether regions located somewhere in the Netherlands?
Ger
Anon: My understanding is that Finnish, Estonian, Hungarian and Basque languages are NOT indo-european at all and that none of the above are related in any way to each other, while all other languages across Europe (from Russia to Ireland) are related (i.e. Irish Gaelic has the same ancient root to Italian or Polish). My colleagues from Sweden, Denmark & Norway can converse in and understand all of the above, but Finnish is completely and totally different.
Ger
Sorry the last post did not read correctly: I meant to say that my Swedish, Norwegian and Danish colleges could all understand each other but none could understand Finns, Hungarians, Estonians, Basques.
Anon ([email protected])
Sorry Ger - my mistake - Hungarian, Estonian and Finnish are from Ural linguistic branch - I think. I can't believe I said indo-euro - doh!!!
Bjorn ([email protected])
This is mostly for Aron, because he has showed particular interest. Scandinavia: Why do we include Denmark? I totally agree with all opponents.
To me Scandinavia is a peninsula, occupied by Sweden and Norway only. The Finnish, Icelander ad Danish have nothing at all to do with that peninsula. If you ask the Finnish and the Icelanders, they will agree. Danish not. Because Denmark used power throughout centuries to control Scandinavia. The Danish occupation of Norway was a 400-year success. But since 1814 not anymore. They didn't manage Sweden the same way, though.
At the Kiel treaty Denmark had to give Norway liberty. After that, in 1905 Norway pissed Sweden off.
Conclusion: The real Scandinavia is the peninsula, governed by Norway and Sweden. Denmark has in fact nothing to do with us, topographically spoken. Our connections are now the SAS, Scandinavian Airlines System. Denmark belongs to the continent. It is more or less some kind of appendix to the feudal German Europe...
Chuckles
Many of these responses just prove that humor doesn't always convey.... I hate to break it to you, Dawn, but you're the gullible one here. There is absolutely no chance that the Jones's post was anything but dead-on, bulls-eye satire. Not even a troll since I doubt if they believed anyone could be ignorant enough to believe the post. Of course, you could be the troll, Dawn, and I could be the gullible one. Hard to believe you believed them.
Betty and Billy Jones ([email protected])
Okay, so here's our itinerary. Sunday: arrive, unpack, watch Scandinavian TV (my husband is very interested in that for some reason), nap, and maybe get some Chinese takeaway from a little place close to our Hotel Inn. A coworker said you can get a good deal if you ask for a pinchin? Was he just making that up or do they pinch over there? I know nothing about this, but we've got 50% off rack rate coupon at Holiday Inns from a regional Entertainment Book.
Monday: take a canal tour, have some Scandinavian beer and schnitzel, then drive around the city in our rental car. Does Tom Dooley rent in Scandinavia?
Tuesday: ??? Wednesday: ??? Thursday: early morning departure back home.
Questions: Are we trying to do too much? We planned our last 2 days to be completely optional so we can go somewhere else if we have to--maybe hop up to Italy for a little while--we're completely flexible at this point. Can we take mace to keep away the Vikings?
We're trying to blend in. Both of us are bleaching our hair (well, mine's already but let's just say the carpet doesn't match the drapes). It took me and my hairdresser the past 3 days to talk Billy into doing it. But we want to be multicultural and tolerant and everything to fit in.
Should we get blue contact lenses? What's a good place to get those? I hope we can take them in to Scandinavia since they're prescription contacts. (Sorta glad now I didn't have the laser eye surgery cause that would've been a waste with having to get blue contacts now). Please only serious replies.
We're thinking of either leaving in a couple days since Billy has off work and the kids are staying with another neighbor who homeschools with us. We want to get the leftover seats that go real cheep since the airlines would rather get $50 than let the seat go empty.
If we don't do that then we're looking at October 2003. Please advise--serious advises only thank you!
Actually, it takes a Viking pillage to raze any village!
Betty and Billy Jones ([email protected])
WOULD YOU PEOPLE JUST SHUT UP AND ANSWER OUR QUESTIONS!!! MY GOD, I CAN SEE NOW WHY SOME PEOPLE BREEZE IN HERE AND LEAVE AND NEVER COME BACK. YOU ALL NEED TO GET A LIFE AND OFFER SOME REAL HELP FOR US!!!!!!
Dawn
The reason people are making fun of you is because none of us can believe that anyone cruising around Fodor's could be so ignorant about travel and geography. For example, you say, "what language is spoken in Scandinavia? I assume Scandinavian" What? There is not such thing as a single Scandinavian language? Scandinavia is a region not a country. Several languages are spoken in that part of the world. While there are similarities between them, the people in Denmark do not speak the same language and the Swedes.
Also, who in their right mind would assume that a European country would accept dollars? Does your local grocery store accept German Marks and Austrian Schillings? This is why people are making fun of you. And I am not even touching the costume and Viking questions you had.
Anon ([email protected])
But anon - from what I understand neither the Danes nor the Swedes nor the Norwegians can understand the Finns. Seems that Finnish is from the same indo-euro branch that Hungarian and Estonian are from but are now so different there is no similarity - unlike the romance languages. I don't know anything about Icelandic maybe Djork might be able to enlighten us.
Sidenote - is the nether regions located somewhere in the Netherlands?
Ger
Anon: My understanding is that Finnish, Estonian, Hungarian and Basque languages are NOT indo-european at all and that none of the above are related in any way to each other, while all other languages across Europe (from Russia to Ireland) are related (i.e. Irish Gaelic has the same ancient root to Italian or Polish). My colleagues from Sweden, Denmark & Norway can converse in and understand all of the above, but Finnish is completely and totally different.
Ger
Sorry the last post did not read correctly: I meant to say that my Swedish, Norwegian and Danish colleges could all understand each other but none could understand Finns, Hungarians, Estonians, Basques.
Anon ([email protected])
Sorry Ger - my mistake - Hungarian, Estonian and Finnish are from Ural linguistic branch - I think. I can't believe I said indo-euro - doh!!!
Bjorn ([email protected])
This is mostly for Aron, because he has showed particular interest. Scandinavia: Why do we include Denmark? I totally agree with all opponents.
To me Scandinavia is a peninsula, occupied by Sweden and Norway only. The Finnish, Icelander ad Danish have nothing at all to do with that peninsula. If you ask the Finnish and the Icelanders, they will agree. Danish not. Because Denmark used power throughout centuries to control Scandinavia. The Danish occupation of Norway was a 400-year success. But since 1814 not anymore. They didn't manage Sweden the same way, though.
At the Kiel treaty Denmark had to give Norway liberty. After that, in 1905 Norway pissed Sweden off.
Conclusion: The real Scandinavia is the peninsula, governed by Norway and Sweden. Denmark has in fact nothing to do with us, topographically spoken. Our connections are now the SAS, Scandinavian Airlines System. Denmark belongs to the continent. It is more or less some kind of appendix to the feudal German Europe...
Chuckles
Many of these responses just prove that humor doesn't always convey.... I hate to break it to you, Dawn, but you're the gullible one here. There is absolutely no chance that the Jones's post was anything but dead-on, bulls-eye satire. Not even a troll since I doubt if they believed anyone could be ignorant enough to believe the post. Of course, you could be the troll, Dawn, and I could be the gullible one. Hard to believe you believed them.
Betty and Billy Jones ([email protected])
Okay, so here's our itinerary. Sunday: arrive, unpack, watch Scandinavian TV (my husband is very interested in that for some reason), nap, and maybe get some Chinese takeaway from a little place close to our Hotel Inn. A coworker said you can get a good deal if you ask for a pinchin? Was he just making that up or do they pinch over there? I know nothing about this, but we've got 50% off rack rate coupon at Holiday Inns from a regional Entertainment Book.
Monday: take a canal tour, have some Scandinavian beer and schnitzel, then drive around the city in our rental car. Does Tom Dooley rent in Scandinavia?
Tuesday: ??? Wednesday: ??? Thursday: early morning departure back home.
Questions: Are we trying to do too much? We planned our last 2 days to be completely optional so we can go somewhere else if we have to--maybe hop up to Italy for a little while--we're completely flexible at this point. Can we take mace to keep away the Vikings?
We're trying to blend in. Both of us are bleaching our hair (well, mine's already but let's just say the carpet doesn't match the drapes). It took me and my hairdresser the past 3 days to talk Billy into doing it. But we want to be multicultural and tolerant and everything to fit in.
Should we get blue contact lenses? What's a good place to get those? I hope we can take them in to Scandinavia since they're prescription contacts. (Sorta glad now I didn't have the laser eye surgery cause that would've been a waste with having to get blue contacts now). Please only serious replies.
We're thinking of either leaving in a couple days since Billy has off work and the kids are staying with another neighbor who homeschools with us. We want to get the leftover seats that go real cheep since the airlines would rather get $50 than let the seat go empty.
If we don't do that then we're looking at October 2003. Please advise--serious advises only thank you!
Apr 18th, 2006, 04:54 PM
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Capo
Not quite (about Prussia.) This, from the website "U.S. Department of State Background Notes: Denmark, June 1997" http://www.state.gov/www/background_..._0697_bgn.html
"After the war with Prussia and Austria in 1864, Denmark was forced to cede Schleswig-Holstein to Prussia and adopt a policy of neutrality."
And here's a website entitled "Prussia vs. Germany" http://www.thegrid.net/kratzke/Statistics/prussia.html
Scandia ([email protected])
Prussia, Shmussia, what the heck does that have to do with poor Billy and Betty's questions? Betty and Billy - Please don't get mad and leave the forum. Just because some people haven't been very helpful doesn't mean there aren't a lot of decent folks here who would never think of standing idly by while Vikings raped and/or pillaged ANYONE, much less innocent American tourists just trying to make the world a better place.
I myself know a lot about the land of the Scandians. I haven't actually been there, but my plumber's boyfriend's mechanic listens to NPR all the time, mainly for CarTalk, but right afterwards comes Garrison Keeler so I feel like I myself really understand where those Norwayans are coming from. Mainly snow.
Anyway from what I hear, most people who go to Scandia couldn't of felt more safer if they'd been in Madrid, or Barcelona. It is true the Vikings used to be known for being sort of crabby and irritable and yes, even possibly a trifle oversexed, but that was all a very long time ago, like before WWII even (you know, that war where we Americans saved all the Europeans and you'd think they'd be more greatful).
You can tell it was a long time ago by the fact that it is in your son's HISTORY book as opposed to his Current Affairs class, also by the fact that back then they all had names like Halfdan Lodar and Ivan the Boneless, but now they re all named Sven and Bjorn. At the present time, the Scandians are the gentlest friendliest tall blond people you could hope to see. (I know my hubby always hopes to really SEE all of them, the women anyway, if you know what I mean...) In fact I think that's the biggest thing you have to worry about - those Viking wommen trying to steal a good American man.
So make sure you keep Billy on a short leash over there. And be sure to stay in one of those ancient villas in the Viking mead country - you could rent a sled and go there during one of your open days on Tuesday and Wednesday. Keep us posted on your adventures. I'm sooo jealous.
Betty and Billy Jones ([email protected])
Thank you, Scandia. We're not going to Russia anyway so I'm glad someone is taking our requests seriously again. Honestly, if there was a forum where we could post a question and only get REAL answers and filter out all of the garbage, I think we'd all enjoy it much more. I get tired of all the tangents and MEANNESS that some people attempt to foist upon our simple questions.
So what if we don't travel as much as everybody else. That's why we're starting and since I listen to Prairie Home Companion I feel a kinship with Scandinavian people. I'll be sure to post a trip report when we get back. I hope Airtan has some empty seats on Sunday so we don't screw up our itinerary to Amsterdam, Scandinavia.
I'll write the trip report in several installments because I want to be a good guest here on the Fodor’s forums, and of course I'll be ready for questions when we get back on Thursday!!! So get those questions ready and us "experts" on Scandinavia will be glad to help give back a little of what we got (help that is).
Santa Chiara
Dear Jones: have a great trip. When you are there, would you ask around and find out how to get to Positano from Scandinavia? Thanks.
Linda
If I eat Danish am I a cannibal? What is so great about a Great Dane? Why do they brag about themselves?
Ruth
Betty and Billy - did you have a great time in Scandinavia? Did you meet any trolls? I've been worried for you. These fierce creatures tend to lurk under bridges and prey on unwary travelers. They are only afraid of large billy goats gruff. Many Scandians keep a goat for the purpose of deterring trolls - tourists can rent one at reasonable rates (just ask at the airport).
Hopefully you met instead the Finn Family Moomintroll - these are much friendlier creatures whose habits have been documented by the distinguished trollologist, the late Tove Jansson, who clearly spent many years observing these creatures in their natural habitat. Her books should form the basis of your next trip to Scandinavia.
Bjorn Alvik ([email protected])
The Jones's are not back yet. They seek shelter in Oslo. Under the dome, where the royal wedding will take place on Saturday Aug 25th.
Ohoh ([email protected])
In that hotel with the red awning?
Bjerk off
Would that be a Danish with cream cheese filling? Sorry - couldn't resist.
Cheryl Z
Ufta, you're all making me hungry for some lefse right now! Hmmmm, here's a thought for capturing bin Ladin. Some lutefisk could be dropped from a fighter jet into his hiding holes and the smell would drive him out.
Jim Rosenberg
Sorry if this has already been covered because I haven't had time to read all of the responses, but in answer to the original post, the Vikings are REALLY BAD right HERE now. They are 0-2 to start the season and they blew third quarter leads in both of those games. Worse yet, those were probably two of their easiest games in the schedule this season. UFDA!
Grandma
Just scrolling thru Fodor’s to cheer up (live in Manhattan) and found this silly thread. I(second generation Swede...blonde/blue eyes) sitting here listening to Garrison Keilor, tomorrow boarding a flight to Amsterdam. Talk about relevant! And OH!! the lutefisk stories I could tell!! giggle, giggle and thanks
Audrey
Dear Jim, I hope that you are feeling a bit better today. In the future, please refrain from making rash generalizations about an entire group of people, even if they did start out 0-2.
Jim Rosenberg
Audrey -- No time to reply -- I'm digging through the closets, looking for my Helga Hat!
Danna
Jones, Thanks for this post! If you are in Scandinavia Xmas time, don't forget the Santa Lucia Breakfast with swedish meatballs, potato sausage, lutefisk and lefsa. They drink mulled wine, have tomtes (gnomes) and salute a young woman with a headdress of candles (real candles) whilst singing Santa Lucia an Italian folks song.... then go to work at 8am! Those Vikings sure know how to party!
SharonM
I dated a Viking, once...really.
Viking ([email protected])
Betty, Betty not to worry, September, November is not our raping season. For that, come in June.
Lauren
How could I have missed this? Hey, the Vikings are tied with the Redskins. Anyone know if any Redskins are planning to go on the warpath in Scandinavia in the fall? Are the Vikings poised to invade Paris for Christmas to do a little pillage shopping? Thanks for the laugh, whoever topped this off.
SharonM
Lauren, Don't feel badly. I missed this one too. I certainly would've had a lot more to say!!! Oh well, thanks, topper.
Oh. And by the way... More I think of it, I think it was 2 Vikings... Just wanted to make that clear.
S.Fowler
I'm getting really concerned, as Betty and Billy Jones have not yet posted their travel report...
Not quite (about Prussia.) This, from the website "U.S. Department of State Background Notes: Denmark, June 1997" http://www.state.gov/www/background_..._0697_bgn.html
"After the war with Prussia and Austria in 1864, Denmark was forced to cede Schleswig-Holstein to Prussia and adopt a policy of neutrality."
And here's a website entitled "Prussia vs. Germany" http://www.thegrid.net/kratzke/Statistics/prussia.html
Scandia ([email protected])
Prussia, Shmussia, what the heck does that have to do with poor Billy and Betty's questions? Betty and Billy - Please don't get mad and leave the forum. Just because some people haven't been very helpful doesn't mean there aren't a lot of decent folks here who would never think of standing idly by while Vikings raped and/or pillaged ANYONE, much less innocent American tourists just trying to make the world a better place.
I myself know a lot about the land of the Scandians. I haven't actually been there, but my plumber's boyfriend's mechanic listens to NPR all the time, mainly for CarTalk, but right afterwards comes Garrison Keeler so I feel like I myself really understand where those Norwayans are coming from. Mainly snow.
Anyway from what I hear, most people who go to Scandia couldn't of felt more safer if they'd been in Madrid, or Barcelona. It is true the Vikings used to be known for being sort of crabby and irritable and yes, even possibly a trifle oversexed, but that was all a very long time ago, like before WWII even (you know, that war where we Americans saved all the Europeans and you'd think they'd be more greatful).
You can tell it was a long time ago by the fact that it is in your son's HISTORY book as opposed to his Current Affairs class, also by the fact that back then they all had names like Halfdan Lodar and Ivan the Boneless, but now they re all named Sven and Bjorn. At the present time, the Scandians are the gentlest friendliest tall blond people you could hope to see. (I know my hubby always hopes to really SEE all of them, the women anyway, if you know what I mean...) In fact I think that's the biggest thing you have to worry about - those Viking wommen trying to steal a good American man.
So make sure you keep Billy on a short leash over there. And be sure to stay in one of those ancient villas in the Viking mead country - you could rent a sled and go there during one of your open days on Tuesday and Wednesday. Keep us posted on your adventures. I'm sooo jealous.
Betty and Billy Jones ([email protected])
Thank you, Scandia. We're not going to Russia anyway so I'm glad someone is taking our requests seriously again. Honestly, if there was a forum where we could post a question and only get REAL answers and filter out all of the garbage, I think we'd all enjoy it much more. I get tired of all the tangents and MEANNESS that some people attempt to foist upon our simple questions.
So what if we don't travel as much as everybody else. That's why we're starting and since I listen to Prairie Home Companion I feel a kinship with Scandinavian people. I'll be sure to post a trip report when we get back. I hope Airtan has some empty seats on Sunday so we don't screw up our itinerary to Amsterdam, Scandinavia.
I'll write the trip report in several installments because I want to be a good guest here on the Fodor’s forums, and of course I'll be ready for questions when we get back on Thursday!!! So get those questions ready and us "experts" on Scandinavia will be glad to help give back a little of what we got (help that is).
Santa Chiara
Dear Jones: have a great trip. When you are there, would you ask around and find out how to get to Positano from Scandinavia? Thanks.
Linda
If I eat Danish am I a cannibal? What is so great about a Great Dane? Why do they brag about themselves?
Ruth
Betty and Billy - did you have a great time in Scandinavia? Did you meet any trolls? I've been worried for you. These fierce creatures tend to lurk under bridges and prey on unwary travelers. They are only afraid of large billy goats gruff. Many Scandians keep a goat for the purpose of deterring trolls - tourists can rent one at reasonable rates (just ask at the airport).
Hopefully you met instead the Finn Family Moomintroll - these are much friendlier creatures whose habits have been documented by the distinguished trollologist, the late Tove Jansson, who clearly spent many years observing these creatures in their natural habitat. Her books should form the basis of your next trip to Scandinavia.
Bjorn Alvik ([email protected])
The Jones's are not back yet. They seek shelter in Oslo. Under the dome, where the royal wedding will take place on Saturday Aug 25th.
Ohoh ([email protected])
In that hotel with the red awning?
Bjerk off
Would that be a Danish with cream cheese filling? Sorry - couldn't resist.
Cheryl Z
Ufta, you're all making me hungry for some lefse right now! Hmmmm, here's a thought for capturing bin Ladin. Some lutefisk could be dropped from a fighter jet into his hiding holes and the smell would drive him out.
Jim Rosenberg
Sorry if this has already been covered because I haven't had time to read all of the responses, but in answer to the original post, the Vikings are REALLY BAD right HERE now. They are 0-2 to start the season and they blew third quarter leads in both of those games. Worse yet, those were probably two of their easiest games in the schedule this season. UFDA!
Grandma
Just scrolling thru Fodor’s to cheer up (live in Manhattan) and found this silly thread. I(second generation Swede...blonde/blue eyes) sitting here listening to Garrison Keilor, tomorrow boarding a flight to Amsterdam. Talk about relevant! And OH!! the lutefisk stories I could tell!! giggle, giggle and thanks
Audrey
Dear Jim, I hope that you are feeling a bit better today. In the future, please refrain from making rash generalizations about an entire group of people, even if they did start out 0-2.
Jim Rosenberg
Audrey -- No time to reply -- I'm digging through the closets, looking for my Helga Hat!
Danna
Jones, Thanks for this post! If you are in Scandinavia Xmas time, don't forget the Santa Lucia Breakfast with swedish meatballs, potato sausage, lutefisk and lefsa. They drink mulled wine, have tomtes (gnomes) and salute a young woman with a headdress of candles (real candles) whilst singing Santa Lucia an Italian folks song.... then go to work at 8am! Those Vikings sure know how to party!
SharonM
I dated a Viking, once...really.
Viking ([email protected])
Betty, Betty not to worry, September, November is not our raping season. For that, come in June.
Lauren
How could I have missed this? Hey, the Vikings are tied with the Redskins. Anyone know if any Redskins are planning to go on the warpath in Scandinavia in the fall? Are the Vikings poised to invade Paris for Christmas to do a little pillage shopping? Thanks for the laugh, whoever topped this off.
SharonM
Lauren, Don't feel badly. I missed this one too. I certainly would've had a lot more to say!!! Oh well, thanks, topper.
Oh. And by the way... More I think of it, I think it was 2 Vikings... Just wanted to make that clear.
S.Fowler
I'm getting really concerned, as Betty and Billy Jones have not yet posted their travel report...
Apr 18th, 2006, 04:55 PM
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Danna
I'm thinking about Sharon and her date with 2 Vikings.... I'm wondering, did they sing (to the tune of a gum commercial) "Double the Pillage, Double the Fun..." or what else?
SharonM
Now, Danna, It wasn't a double date! Silly!
Mrs Slocum ([email protected])
Where did you say these raping Vikings hang out?
Capo
What I'd like to know is...How can the Vikings have conquered countries and sailed across the Atlantic Ocean to North America...and yet be unable to win the Super Bowl in four attempts?
xxx ([email protected])
Billy? Betty? Where are you??? How was the trip? Were you able to avoid the Vikings?
Ger
I am also very concerned, and disappointed that Jones have not posted their trip report. I gave them my very best fashion advice and various Bjorns, from all over Scandinavia, provided input. What more could they have expected?
The reason why I have come back to this thread is that I will be in Vikingland in November and am enriched; yet baffled, by the contents of this thread.
Here's what I have gathered:
* Almost EVERYONE in Vikingland is called Bjorn, which makes introductions very easy.
* Capo is going to raise a village of Vikings (serious implications for any country within sailing distance of Vikingland and, frankly, quite irresponsible!)
* Vikings are afraid of a tribe of redskins which are located somewhere in the US but I have no idea where (Please provide website address for the redskin tribes for any countries within sailing distance of Capo's village where he is raising Vikings)
* Mr. Rosenberg, says that the VIKINGS are really bad right HERE
* The entire VIKING region has been polluted with a toxic substance called "lutefisk"
* "Mad Reindeer Disease" is rampant
* "Retro-ABBA " disease is on the increase along with secondary diseases (known as AHA)
Betty & Bill Jones: Please enlighten me with your wisdom! Most important feedback would be regarding the number of shoes and hats I will need for two day visit to Vikingland.
P.S.: As a point of reference - I currently have TWO (2) feet and ONE (1) head.
P.P.S.: Should either of the above parameters, for shoe and hat recommendations, change, I will inform you immediately.
Betty and Billy Jones ([email protected])
Billy and me posted a trip report here!!! I guess some people just go for the silly massages that have nothing to do with travel and totally missed our information-packed travel odyssey that I posted.
Quick recap: we didn't get on Airtran because they only go as far as Boston, so we went for busyness class and figured what the heck, we only have a once in a lifetime vacation once (except for Branson Missouri last year) and paid a lot for our tickets but it was the best 5 days ever in Scandinavia. On the way back we had to land in France because of the trade towers, but the pilot used the turbo or something because after staying in France one night we were back home in just about 2 hours after that. And YES I set my watch back I'm not stupid.
Thanks again for all the serious replies. We have nothing to do with these Viking baseball team or whatever some people are trying to joke about.
(P.S. We were going to open a B&B (bred and breakfast) and call it B&B's B&B. Get it? Isn't that clever?).
Waaah ([email protected])
Betty, Billy: I searched and searched for your trip report, but I couldn't find it! Please resubmit it in its entirety! You are soooooo smart and nice and funny and witty and handsome and pretty and clever and...
Harald ([email protected])
I don’t believe you posted any trip report. That would have been forwarded to me.
Wahhh ([email protected])
Harald, stop! You'll scare them away! Come back, Betty and Billy! I want to hear alllllll about it!
Bjorn a-go-go
I'm looking for my spear and magic helmet - has anyone seen it?
Bonnie ([email protected])
Betty & Billy: I also missed your trip report. Could you please post it again, or tell us the heading it is under. I know a lot of us are anxiously awaiting to find out how your trip to Amsterdam, Scandinavia went, and also whether you were able to make it to Italy or wherever it was that you were thinking about going on your 2 "free" days.
Also, were you pillaged & plundered in Scandinavia by the Vikings or Gypsies - or is that in Italy? I get so confused by all the info I get here on this terrific Forum. Everyone is always so helpful, but I do have a difficult time trying to keep all the facts about what to watch for in which country straight. After your trip, you probably know what I mean. Hope to hear from you soon.
VikingGrrl
Betty and Billy, Is your B&B going to be Scandinavian? Maybe some place where an overworked Viking can go for some R&R -- perhaps with raw reindeer meat and daily raping and pillaging? Let us know when/where you plan to open.
Fashionata
Please help me. I am going on my first date for the first time with a Viking. I don't want to over dress. I don't want to wear the horns, he'll think I am trying too hard to be ravished.
B ([email protected])
Anyone ever wandered what the word "Viking" means? It is very simple: The folks from the "Vik"s. Vik is the Norwegian word for a small bay. There are thousands of them along our coastline.(by the way, if you measure the Norwegian coastline in detail, the distance will be more than the North- to South Pole) Hence, the Vik-ings belonged to these fruitful small bays in the slim and otherwise poor Norwegian coast. Prefixes are many. Like mine, Al-, an old-Norwegian word for some kind of tree; Al-vik. So, never relax. Whenever you meet a person named ...vik, be alert. The Vik-ings are here to stay!
Audrey
Dear Jim Rosenberg: I feel that I owe you an apology. You were absolutely right - the Vikings are really BAD, right here, right now. Perhaps we should feed them to the Lions!
Art
Whilst in Poland in Sept, I kept looking for a 6" blond haired, blue eyed vikingness to come and pillage me, but none were to be found. Guess I need to go further north next trip.
Jim Rosenberg
Audrey, I can't BELIEVE I actually renewed my season tickets. What was it, 5-11? It's just GOT TO GET BETTER!
Candide
I never read this. But it's so long. Is there an audio version?
Hermann
Candide: You can order the audio version from: The Viking Press 15 Christenson Pass Oslo, Norway 40980-3245
I'm thinking about Sharon and her date with 2 Vikings.... I'm wondering, did they sing (to the tune of a gum commercial) "Double the Pillage, Double the Fun..." or what else?
SharonM
Now, Danna, It wasn't a double date! Silly!
Mrs Slocum ([email protected])
Where did you say these raping Vikings hang out?
Capo
What I'd like to know is...How can the Vikings have conquered countries and sailed across the Atlantic Ocean to North America...and yet be unable to win the Super Bowl in four attempts?
xxx ([email protected])
Billy? Betty? Where are you??? How was the trip? Were you able to avoid the Vikings?
Ger
I am also very concerned, and disappointed that Jones have not posted their trip report. I gave them my very best fashion advice and various Bjorns, from all over Scandinavia, provided input. What more could they have expected?
The reason why I have come back to this thread is that I will be in Vikingland in November and am enriched; yet baffled, by the contents of this thread.
Here's what I have gathered:
* Almost EVERYONE in Vikingland is called Bjorn, which makes introductions very easy.
* Capo is going to raise a village of Vikings (serious implications for any country within sailing distance of Vikingland and, frankly, quite irresponsible!)
* Vikings are afraid of a tribe of redskins which are located somewhere in the US but I have no idea where (Please provide website address for the redskin tribes for any countries within sailing distance of Capo's village where he is raising Vikings)
* Mr. Rosenberg, says that the VIKINGS are really bad right HERE
* The entire VIKING region has been polluted with a toxic substance called "lutefisk"
* "Mad Reindeer Disease" is rampant
* "Retro-ABBA " disease is on the increase along with secondary diseases (known as AHA)
Betty & Bill Jones: Please enlighten me with your wisdom! Most important feedback would be regarding the number of shoes and hats I will need for two day visit to Vikingland.
P.S.: As a point of reference - I currently have TWO (2) feet and ONE (1) head.
P.P.S.: Should either of the above parameters, for shoe and hat recommendations, change, I will inform you immediately.
Betty and Billy Jones ([email protected])
Billy and me posted a trip report here!!! I guess some people just go for the silly massages that have nothing to do with travel and totally missed our information-packed travel odyssey that I posted.
Quick recap: we didn't get on Airtran because they only go as far as Boston, so we went for busyness class and figured what the heck, we only have a once in a lifetime vacation once (except for Branson Missouri last year) and paid a lot for our tickets but it was the best 5 days ever in Scandinavia. On the way back we had to land in France because of the trade towers, but the pilot used the turbo or something because after staying in France one night we were back home in just about 2 hours after that. And YES I set my watch back I'm not stupid.
Thanks again for all the serious replies. We have nothing to do with these Viking baseball team or whatever some people are trying to joke about.
(P.S. We were going to open a B&B (bred and breakfast) and call it B&B's B&B. Get it? Isn't that clever?).
Waaah ([email protected])
Betty, Billy: I searched and searched for your trip report, but I couldn't find it! Please resubmit it in its entirety! You are soooooo smart and nice and funny and witty and handsome and pretty and clever and...
Harald ([email protected])
I don’t believe you posted any trip report. That would have been forwarded to me.
Wahhh ([email protected])
Harald, stop! You'll scare them away! Come back, Betty and Billy! I want to hear alllllll about it!
Bjorn a-go-go
I'm looking for my spear and magic helmet - has anyone seen it?
Bonnie ([email protected])
Betty & Billy: I also missed your trip report. Could you please post it again, or tell us the heading it is under. I know a lot of us are anxiously awaiting to find out how your trip to Amsterdam, Scandinavia went, and also whether you were able to make it to Italy or wherever it was that you were thinking about going on your 2 "free" days.
Also, were you pillaged & plundered in Scandinavia by the Vikings or Gypsies - or is that in Italy? I get so confused by all the info I get here on this terrific Forum. Everyone is always so helpful, but I do have a difficult time trying to keep all the facts about what to watch for in which country straight. After your trip, you probably know what I mean. Hope to hear from you soon.
VikingGrrl
Betty and Billy, Is your B&B going to be Scandinavian? Maybe some place where an overworked Viking can go for some R&R -- perhaps with raw reindeer meat and daily raping and pillaging? Let us know when/where you plan to open.
Fashionata
Please help me. I am going on my first date for the first time with a Viking. I don't want to over dress. I don't want to wear the horns, he'll think I am trying too hard to be ravished.
B ([email protected])
Anyone ever wandered what the word "Viking" means? It is very simple: The folks from the "Vik"s. Vik is the Norwegian word for a small bay. There are thousands of them along our coastline.(by the way, if you measure the Norwegian coastline in detail, the distance will be more than the North- to South Pole) Hence, the Vik-ings belonged to these fruitful small bays in the slim and otherwise poor Norwegian coast. Prefixes are many. Like mine, Al-, an old-Norwegian word for some kind of tree; Al-vik. So, never relax. Whenever you meet a person named ...vik, be alert. The Vik-ings are here to stay!
Audrey
Dear Jim Rosenberg: I feel that I owe you an apology. You were absolutely right - the Vikings are really BAD, right here, right now. Perhaps we should feed them to the Lions!
Art
Whilst in Poland in Sept, I kept looking for a 6" blond haired, blue eyed vikingness to come and pillage me, but none were to be found. Guess I need to go further north next trip.
Jim Rosenberg
Audrey, I can't BELIEVE I actually renewed my season tickets. What was it, 5-11? It's just GOT TO GET BETTER!
Candide
I never read this. But it's so long. Is there an audio version?
Hermann
Candide: You can order the audio version from: The Viking Press 15 Christenson Pass Oslo, Norway 40980-3245
Apr 18th, 2006, 09:47 PM
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However, I've found Scandanavian has been quite easy to master. Just a variety of grunts really.
There's the series of short grunts while being pillaged, the deep grunts during swordplay, and the long grunt to signify a good meal of lutefisk.
There's the series of short grunts while being pillaged, the deep grunts during swordplay, and the long grunt to signify a good meal of lutefisk.
Apr 19th, 2006, 04:41 AM
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ooby--you shouldn't exaggerate so much. The Scandahoovian talk has more than just grunts. I've had a lot of experience with them in Minisoda, and I know that they interject a hearty "Yah shurrr" or "Go Vikinks" now and again.
Apr 19th, 2006, 08:58 AM
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In a college history class we learned that the Vikings liked to eat hallucinogenic mushrooms or plants of some type and that they would drink their own urine after ingestion as some of the pyschedelic substance comes out in the urine. This may explain the lack of public urinals in Scandinavia!
