When in Shanghai…

When in Shanghai…

…do as the Shanghainese. Or at least try. You may find it a lot harder to adopt the social customs in China than in Rome. Here are a few ways you can show your hosts that you're doing your best to blend.

Indulge in a Steamed Pork Dumpling

You can pick up xiao long bao (steamed pork dumpling) on the street -- look for the steam coming out from a store or the giant bamboo baskets or at many restaurants. Be careful when you bite into them not to get hot juice in your lap as you'll look like a novice.

Strike a Bargain

There's nothing quite like negotiating a purchase price in a Chinese market. You can learn this valued Chinese skill by bargaining for something inexpensive, so you won't mind if you spend a little too much. Remember that saving face is everything when communicating in China. Smile constantly and remain pleasant. Avoid getting angry and making direct criticisms. Acting noncommittal about the item you desperately want might increase your bargaining power.

Get a Little Bit Closer

Get ready to shove, push, squeeze, and cut in line. You may think that a bus or a subway has no room for you, but then someone else will jump in front of you and find an opening. The Chinese have a different idea of personal space than Westerners, so crowding, bumping, and jostling in public are common. You may be annoyed at first, but if you can think like the Chinese, you may make it onto that crowded ferry without having to wait for the next one.

Give a Gift, Pay a Compliment

Visiting someone you know in Shanghai? If you come bearing a gift, offer it up with both hands to show respect. Expect it to be refused as much as three or four times before finally being accepted. Be persistent in offering it. The receiver may not open it in front of you, so don't insist. If your host or hostess speaks even a little English, be sure to compliment his or her use of it. Your host will probably deny this so be ready to insist gently and repeat the compliment.

Slurp Your Noodles

Your mother would scold you for your bad manners, but China is the perfect place to liberate yourself from rigid table etiquette. Get your head into the bowl, use your chopsticks to bring the noodles into your mouth and then suck them up with noisy gusto. It makes eating so much more fun.

Stare

The smallest of incidents will draw a crowd in China, so if you see a bunch of people massing, typically with hands folded behind their backs, get in there and have a look for yourself. You may find that people also look you up and down in the street, so join in and don't hold back on unabashed people-watching.

Got Phlegm?

Feel free to spit it out on the sidewalk. Although there have been efforts since SARS to decrease spitting, it's still quite a common practice, as is blowing your nose on to the street by holding one nostril while voiding the other. Such displays are disappearing, however what is still de rigueur is spitting out bones when eating -- either on the floor, your plate, or the table.