bradshawgirl

Back in August, I had a terrible idea. My husband and I are considering starting our family in 2006 (no, that's not the terrible idea!), and I thought it would be appropriate to have one last hurrah, so to speak, before we become parents. I was thinking of a trip to Italy.

To be more specific, I was thinking of a looong trip to Italy, like a month or so, in which we'd travel together for the first 10 days, and then he'd come back to the states (he can't take much time off from work), and I'd see if I could stay a bit longer. Like, 15 days longer. (Is that crazy? I haven't traveled alone much when abroad. I've always been with someone.) Anyway, it's probably a totally improbable concept, and I'm sure we couldn't afford it, but it's been nagging at me, calling to me.

Here is my dream itinerary:
Rome: 10 days
Siena: 4 days
Florence: 5 days
Venice: 6 days

I was thinking we'd head out in mid-September, once the crush of tourists has gone home. We may flip it around, flying into Venice first to avoid the late-fall flooding that seems to occur there.

My struggle with this is that it is a selfish way to spend money. And it would be a large amount of money that we'd be spending. I would have to save up most of my disposable income between now and September just to be able to consider it. With that kind of cash, we could have a new patio put in, buy a shed for the backyard, re-tile the master bathroom floor, etc. But . . . Italy is a dream of mine. I have always wanted to go, but I haven't made it yet. I am still struggling with this decision, but I need to start saving soon (and talk to my boss about some unpaid leave time!) if I'm serious about this. What do you guys think? Am I totally crazy? (Sometimes I wonder!)

Steve_James

Italy ... or home improvements? No contest

'You got to have a dream.
If you don't have a dream ...
How you gonna make your dream come true'

Not crazy at all Hey - go for it!
If you don't, you'll always regret it, methinks ...

Steve

JSLee

Yes and no.

Wanting to take time for something like this before you start a family is a good idea.

Having money set aside for for lack of income during pregnancy is a very good idea. Planning your finiances during the period is also a good idea. Is there money left over, will you be in a bind? Any monies left over after planning could be used for the trip.

You may consider cutting back on the time. Two weeks can be very enjoyable, and is better than nothing.

mah1980

Why don't you just go for 10 days so you won't be pushing your budget.

I think it's really important for soon to be first time parents to get a lot of traveling done before the baby comes. Even if you have the best baby in the world, it's unlikely you'll be going to Europe with the baby for the first 3 years.

You'll always remember the trip as the last trip where it was just you and your husband.

ira

Hi B,

>My husband and I are considering starting our family in 2006...

>I was thinking of a looong trip to Italy, like a month or so,

>I'm sure we couldn't afford it,...

Italy .... or Baby

You decide.

Scarlett

Personally- I tend to do things that I want to do Now and worry about what we will do Later.
Usually, Things work out anyway- and I am not wishing I had gone to Europe or done what I reeeeally wanted to do.
The house will still be there, you will still save some money and get the patio done, it just might happen later..but all the while, you will have memories of that trip you two took, before the babies came.
I agree - if the guilts are too much for you, take a 10 day trip instead of a wacky month away
Good luck, not such a bad dilemma to be in ~

Christina

I don't think it's crazy, but as long as you asked, I do think it is very self-indulgent and irresponsible and shows you have a poor attitude towards money which isn't going to work very well for a baby. I wouldn't think that if you had plenty of money saved for this trip already and if it weren't a major dent in any savings, but you don't even have the money for this trip and you say it will use up every bit of your disposible income for the next 9 months! That is incredible to me that you would even consider doing such a thing. You know that taking unpaid leave is just spending more money (lots of it).

I wouldn't even consider taking a vacation that cost me 9 months of savings and I never have in my entire life.

mah1980

Whenever I go on a trip, even if I'm really excited about the trip, I go through a little phase of feeling bad about spending money that I could be saving. I think this is normal and that a lot of people do this too. However, these feelings of guilt are quickly abandoned when I go on the trip.

But, I have never gone on a trip that I really, really couldn't afford. If this is one of those momentary guilt things that you are feeling even though you know you can afford it, then I would go.

If you know that you really can't afford it then I wouldn't go.

SeaUrchin

I agree with Christina. It is fine not to worry about money and to live it up if you have disposable income but if you don't, well, it is time to realize that putting the baby first might mean even up to the point when you are considering having the baby.

Responsibility takes many forms and parenthood shouldn't be taken lightly.

lobo_mau

starting a family in Italy is a good ideia

Marsha

As a mom who traveled a lot before kids and has traveled with kids, I would suggest a compromise. Most of us on this forum chose a lower standard of living in order to travel - we drive older cars, we don't have boats, motorcycles or other toys that our non-traveling friends purchase. Some of us also travel economically. Why not trim the trip down to 15 days and stay in budget accomodations? (not dumps, but rather B & B's without pools, two-star hotels etc.) You may want to travel in October or November when airfare is cheaper. Do picnics and lunch specials, rather than expensive restaurants. Scrimp and save at home, both before and after the trip, and you will have the money for the trip, the home improvements and the baby.

teaberry

How does your husband feel about your idea?

tcreath

I don't think its a terrible idea to want to get your traveling to Italy done before you have your baby, but I do agree that it isn't a good idea to take a vacation that you really can't afford.

I personally would never take a vacation that we can't really afford. My DH and I love to travel as much as we can, so we set up a seperate savings account, and aside from money that goes into it each month from our paychecks we also put any tax return money, Christmas money, etc. into it when we can. We then plan our trips around that money. If you have to scrimp and save for nine months and use all extra money you will have on your trip, then you really can't afford to go on it and probably shouldn't.

As mentioned above, perhaps you could compromise and take a two week trip instead? You could visit some great places, have a wonderful time, and not break the bank doing so.

Tracy

suze

Part of your question is extremely personal and only you can answer it.

But part of it I can help with. Traveling in Western Europe as a solo female is not very difficult. I would suggest taking the train between cities, finding modest hotels, pensione or convents to stay at, keeping food costs low to save your budget. 2-3 weeks after your husband has gone back home is not terribly long of a time to plan or pay for.

So to answer your blunt question, no you aren't crazy but you do sound pretty confused about priorities in your life at the moment.

dutyfree

I would like to remind you that September is still very high season for alot of the hotels and airfares to Italy.My recommendations would be to go at the beginning of October;go for no more than two weeks(seriously,most of us are ready to go check our mail and lives at home after about 12 days away?)and start the baby making in Italy.The 10 days in Rome, 4 days in Siena and 5 in Florence could be trimmed down along with 6 in Venice. I would start in Rome(or vice versa) and then head up to Venice by way of what cities you want to visit. You can really see alot in 12-14 days in all of these places along with having the chance of relaxing time with your husband. I would like to pass on what my OB/GYN doctor said to me many years ago..........."there is never a good time to buy a house or remodel it;go back to school or have a baby so just do it and don't look back!"

Robespierre

"...I'm sure we couldn't afford it..."

<u>Sure you can!</u> Take the trip. Put it all on credit cards. When the bills come, pay the minimum. Keep spending for that baby and the home improvements, also on the cuff. Pay that minimum every month until you can't any more, then cash out the equity in your house and hope interest rates don't rise or you're thrown out of work by a medical emergency or recession. It's the American way.

PLAN B:

Take the vacation and defer the family until your finances are healthy.

Weadles

I don't regret any of the trips I took before my kids, but I do regret some of the remodeling jobs (LOL). Seriously, I think it comes down to modifying your plans, as other posters have already said.

You could probably shorten your trip, go during the shoulder season ( starting in October), stay at inexpensive hotels or B&amp;BS and not feel as though you need to bankrupt yourselves or put all your dreams on hold until the kids are old enough to travel.

Another very economic option to consider is renting an apartment in Rome, Florence, and Venice. Many places will rent for short stays, and you can get a lot of info about agencies and rentals from other posters here on the forum.

Anyway, whatever you decide, best of luck, and keep dreaming! You can always go off to Italy for that month or so when the kids are grown. Believe me, it happens WAY too fast...

mah1980

it really is the american way to live beyond one's means.

a good example of this is when we were planning for our honeymoon. we had just finished law school, as did several other couples that were getting married and going on honeymoons at the same time. we found a good deal that we could afford. they financed their honeymoons via credit card and HAD to stay at the Four Seasons and Ritz Carlton.


they are still paying for those honeymoons.

SusanP

If you take this trip, will you still be able to afford to take some time off when the baby comes? As much as I'd want to go to Italy, that is an important consideration. You can never get that time with the baby back. If that's covered, and it's only a matter of putting off the patio or shed, I'd go for it, but it doesn't sound as though that's the case.

I also think shortening the trip would be a good idea. With 2 weeks, you could stay in the 4 places you mentioned and have enough time to have a wonderful trip. I would do 3 nights Venice, 3 nights Florence, 2 nights Siena and 5 nights Rome.

As far as traveling alone, I spent 18 days in Italy alone in Sept (Venice, Florence, Siena, Pienza, Rome) and had a fabulous time! I stayed in Rome in a convent for 45E per night, in a great hotel in Pienza for 50E per night, ate cheap lunches and spent a little more on dinners. You can do it inexpensively with a little research.

mari5

Only YOU will know about the money situation....and how much time you want to spend away from your husband. You could both see a LOT of the 4 cities you mentioned..in 12 to 14 days. Could/would he take that time?
It would be a great trip.
(I don't know you, of course, but if you struck out alone for 15 more days it could be that you would wish you were with your husband OR that you were not spending the money)...especially with a possible baby coming to you later in the year.
And yes...as someone else said, Sept is often still high season in Europe as far as prices of accommodations etc., and as well as tourism crowds (just not usually as many children).
You and your husband could have a wonderful, memorable trip for two weeks or under in the places you described (driving a rental car OR train).
You COULD stay a few more days alone 5 or 6 perhaps...but 15 sounds way too much. Well, to each his own. You have picked some beautiful , interesting area and cities.