enjoylife99

Hello:
I am planning to take my husband to Amsterdam (3 nights) for his 55th bday in April to visit Van Gogh and Reimbrandt (he is an art freak) museums however I am apprehensive to leave teenagers behind (16 and 18) home alone. Although my brother who lives nearby can check with them. They are done with Europe (they hated escorted tours)which we did few times already.
My question is, how many of you have done this? Also, did you ever think what if something is going to happen on your flight (plane crash)??? my brother is my only relative nearby and the rest lives 5,000 miles away.
thanks.

Michael

Would you let your 18 year old go to college by himself, keeping in mind that in loco parentis has pretty much disappeared? If yes, then you can give him the responsibility of being home by himself.

ira

Hi enjoy,

Do not leave the kids at home alone. The place will be trashed when you get back.

Determine when they will be on spring break.

Send them to Florida.

Enjoy your vacation.

ira

PS

Extend your vacation to cover one day after Spring Break starts and one day before it ends.

uhoh_busted

You're not gone for long...and your brother is nearby. How "social" are your sons? Are they in school while you plan to be gone -- not on Spring break? How close are you to your neighbors? Having had one of those NOW humerous incidents when we left our 15 and 19 year old kids home during my 50th birthday trip to Paris, I speak from experience that you will want to leave a pretty good and visable web of support on the home front. You should be just fine. As for the plane crash scenario -- that could more likely be a car crash close to home, so don't let that spook you. Leave your brother and your neighbors with instructions to stop over and phone the guys a couple of times, just enough for them to know they've got someone keeping an eye out for them. In a couple more years they will both be out of the house, and you'll have more opportunities to remember what brought you two together in the first place! Bon Voyage!

sandi

You kind of remind me of parents being hysterical when their kids leave the camp the first time. Most kids only want to get going and it's the "old folk" who are the problem.

They're you're kids, and if you don't know them by now, you will when you return. If they know from right and wrong and what you will and won't accept, they should be fine.

And yes, the older one will be off to college soon and you can't be there with him then.

Take a deep breath, your brother is nearby as are friends to check or at least let the kids know "someone is watching". Enjoy your trip.

AMS is a charming small city, great museums, shops, eclectic all around and a fun place to celebrate. All will be fine.

cparris

You would probably enjoy your trip more if you hired someone to at least stay in your house at night...I am not sure where you live, but where I live you do have to worry about kids suddenly appearing at your house since they heard the parents would be gone. It has caused alot of trouble for some people.

Patrick

I don't want to belittle your concerns, but have you and your husband ever driven up the street maybe to a restaurant or a grocery without your kids? I hate to bring this up, but you were probably taking a greater risk of making them orphans then, than you are by flying overseas.

On the other hand you would be wise, traveling or not, to make plans for the kids' future care should something happen to the two of you. I've known it to happen and the results weren't "pretty".

abram

I wouldn't leave two kids home alone at that age. The word gets out at school that there aren't any parents there, and kids show up for a party. The 18 year old will not have the authority to take charge of the situation.

I agree with hiring someone to stay there at night.

julie_Colorado

Left my 16 year old son while we went to London for a long weekend - no problems. Left my other son at the same age for a month while we went to Alaska... no problems. But our kids tend to be good... I expect it and they deliver it. However, only you know your own kids. If the plane crashed, my in laws would have come from 1500 miles away to collect him. It might have taken an extra day. We have no family - but friends - any closer. I do keep a copy of my will and he knows where it is.

omalley

We went away for 5 nights and left our 18 year old daughter. She was a good student and had never given us any trouble. We came home early and found that a house party had been going on the whole time. Boys and girls had been sleeping together in our beds. The house was a mess.

uhoh_busted

As you can see from the several of us with direct experience, "your mileage may vary." The best thing you can do to avoid omalley's fate is to be sure a nearby adult can and does make his/her presence known OFTEN. Both to avoid the unexpected -- be it "social" or a problem where one of the guys really does need adult- not his brother's - guidance -- or simply to provide some comfort and attention. (Hey, guys -- instead of ordering pizza for dinner, why don't you come over to our place.)

traveller29

It doesn't mater how well you know your kids or how well behaved they normally are. Leaving them home alone to go that far is vastly different than go down the street to the store. I agree that if word goes out, things will go out of control and the kids don't have the maturity to know how to stop it. We left our 21 year old home alone 5 years ago with instructions that no one was to come over. We havent' left him alone in our home when we go on a vacation since. Nothing really bad happened but 4 kids "showed up" and one of my deseased mother's collection plates got broken. They just don't appreciate your home they way they will when they buy and pay for things. HMMMM...just like we didn't at that age! Leave a will, get someone to stay in your home and remember that if no one winds up in the intensive care unit or jail, it was a great vacation!

FainaAgain

We left our 2 sons at home alone first time when the older was 17, the younger 12. Of course we all agreed on friends visiting at daytime only, and no parties. They had a list with all the phones - our in a hotel, and relatives out-of-state. The first thing we did - called them from a hotel room as soon as we new the number, just in case. I don't understand what's such a big deal about leaving children for a week or so?

julie_Colorado

FainaAgain... I'm with you. It just looks like we don't have much company! I also let my 2 boys backpack Europe for a summer when they were 15 and 19. Maybe I'm just lucky.

JonJon

I suspect some of the responses that have included all the bad things that will happen while you are gone are probably reflective of 1) what would probably happen if the responder(s) left THEIR kids home alone for a week or 2) what THEY would have probably done at the same age.
THEIR kids aren't yours and since you know your kids better than anyone else does you remain the best judge of how "safe" it is to leave them alone. Wishing for opinions, either positive or negative, will not alter years of child-rearing so I guess now you've reached "acid test" time!

On another note: since you describe your husband as an "art freak" then do NOT PASS UP the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam...you can easily do it as well as the others and despite the ongoing renovations (I just came back yesterday) the major works remain on view. If your husband is really "into" Rembrandt then he owes it to himself to view what has been described as Rembrandt's greatest "portrait," that of the "Syndics of the Drapers Guild" not to mention the so-called "Nightwatch." And these two are just a few steps away from some of Van Gogh's most well-known works including self-portraits and some of the Arles renderings.

Enjoy your trip. The plane will not crash.

laurelt

It totally depends on your kids. I was left alone for weekends quite a bit as a teenager and if my parents ever had any idea about the things I did...well, let's just say, they would not have approved.

Having said that, we left our 13 & 17 year old girls for 4 days recently so we could go to NYC for 4 days (we live in SF). We had plenty of friends & neighbors check in with them and we called them each night. They were great and there were no disasters.

There is no "one size fits all" answer to this one!

gb

I've never left my 18 and 15 year old daughters home alon, and probably wouldn't unless there was no other way. Just me. I have friends who left their teens home and have no problems. Other have left their teens home and have problems. There's no way to tell ahead of time, and that's why I wouldn't. Can they stay with a friend? At least then, they have a some in a supervisory role-it's only 3 nights.

cparris

The problem is that even if your kids are good...if some other kids hear that you are gone they might just show up at your house. Would your kids be able to handle it? You said that you feel apprehensive to leave them behind. You can just never tell how things will go ahead of time.

RachelG

I wouldn't worry so much about my kids (17 and 12) doing anything bad, but I would worry about other kids showing up, and my 17-year-old not being able to control the situation. And the 12 year old would probably stay up all night playing video games--which wouldn't kill him, but would be a problem if there were school the next day.