Saraho

Six weeks ago we had just planned a much needed two week vacation trip to Italy for October when half an hour later our seventeen year old granddaughter called and and asked if she could come live with us for her "gap" semester. So, of course, we said yes and told her about our plans for our trip to Italy. She wanted to go with us. Okay, her grandfather is thrilled with the idea of showing her his favorite places there.

However, her first month here has been a very difficult adjustment for all of us. After several confrontations over her passive aggressive behavior, her attitude has begun to improve greatly. But we are undecided about whether to continue the plans for her to travel with us. She and I talked about it today, and she assures me that she wants to go with us. I told her that we want her to come, but only if she will be a "happy camper." We decided to wait a week before making the decision, and that if the decision is for her not to come, we'll help her find something else fun for her to do instead- such as visit her aunt and teenage cousins.

Maybe next weekend we'll go on a two day trip with her as a trial run. Any other suggestions of how to manage "alone" time on a trip to Italy with a seventeen year old girl. We'll be in Venice five days, one or two nights in Ravenna, Assisi, and Orvieto and five days in Rome. I've asked her to help plan the trip, and all she has come up with are cooking classes, Venice and not too many churches, please. I've located several cooking classes in Rome. It's tempting to find a several day course where she could stay with other young people- any ideas.

My main feeling is that I do not want our trip ruined by bad feelings on anybody's part.

missypie

I think this is more of a "grandparenting" question than a travel question. Our 15 year old son was old enough to be totally engaged by everything in Italy (except the shopping); when he returned, he started reading Dante. So it totally depends on the child. But if you've planned this trip for yourelves for a long time and want to do what you want to do (and are afraid she'll not like it), go without her without guilt.

LoveItaly

Hi Saraho, hard decision I would imagine.

I will say that our teenage daughter did not want to go to Italy with us for two months but her father said she was going whether she wanted to or not, sigh. Well she fell in love with Italy the minute she got off of the plane and actually cried when it was time to return home. We didn't plan anything "special" for her during the trip..we just all enjoyed Italy together and it was truly a magical two months.

But being the grandmother of two grandsons (one now 20 who I love to travel with) and the other now 15 who just recently became a bit to "full of himeself" I know how moody teens can be. A teenager with an attitude can sure be stressful and certainly can take the joy out of the day. There is no way at this point in time I would travel with the 15 year old I am sad to say.

From rereading your post it sort of seems to me that you would be happier going to Italy with just your husband. And if that is so I would not feel guilty about not taking your granddaughter with you. Just my two cents worth. Best wishes to you with your decision.

DebDen79

Oh, hard question. Like someone said, it is more of grandparenting question. You are the only one who really knows your granddaughter and has any any idea whether or not she will "step up to the plate" and let herself have fun. That being said, I think travel is so good for teenagers that I would be tempted to try it. I would sit her down, have a heart to heart talk about how you have planned this trip, and that YOU are going to have a good time, whether she does or not. Then if she is being balky or difficult, I would go off for a day of sightseeing with no qualms. Of course, you are also the only person who knows whether her balkiness is just general teenage angst, in which case she would be fine on her own for a day, or true rebellion where you couldn't enjoy yourself because of worrying about what she might be up to. I also think the idea of finding a multi-day class of some sort is an excellent idea for all of you. Good luck and let us know what you decide.
Deb

DebDen79

PS I have 20 and 23 year old daughters, so I do know teenage girls and how hard it can be deal with them!
Deb

anamaria

Saraho, tough decision. We just got back with two teens or I mean one teen and a 20 year old. We were worried about the 20 yr. old. You have to stay up to date with my trip report.(Family of 5 just back from Italy and Greece) We did not want our 20 year old to ruin our trip after being in college(USC) for two years. He is going through the Partying stage. We told him the rules before we left.Not only did I have a talk with him I also sent him a e-mail.He thought he was going to take his 17 year old brother out partying in Mykonos. He rose to the occasion and was fine with doing family activities.Before we left I even said if he couldn't abide by the rules he shouldn't go. I know what you mean by "passive aggressive behavior".
Good luck

Saraho

Thanks, everybody, for your suggestions and telling me about your experiences traveling with teens. At least now I don't feel alone anymore. I had read so many accounts of great trips with teens and was feeling like our trip probably wouldn't be like that. Now I'm going to go read your trip report, Anamaria.