Why don't many Earthlings travel much?
Dec 21st, 2000, 12:39 PM
#1
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Why don't many Earthlings travel much?
My name is Throg. I am king of all that is good and righteous in the universe. <BR> <BR>In my travels through the universe, I have begun to notice a curious lack of earthings. You humans seem more interested in staying put on your own planet, and don't delve into the wonders of outer space. Of course there are a few exceptional forays to your pitiful moon rock, and an occaisional ride around the planet, but you people seem to have an incredible lack of perspective, and interest, in beings other than yourselves. Maybe you are content with your earthly sights and delicacies, but you are missing some miraculous things by not working together and venturing into to depths of the space around you. Open your eyes and ears, and stop thinking that your world is perfect. There is more than you what you know. <BR>
Dec 21st, 2000, 12:46 PM
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Dear Throg, <BR> <BR>As an earthling, I would have to say that most earthlings don't travel is that they are not as sophisticated and broad-minded as I am. I make it a point to visit at least one other galaxy each year, but that is because I am morally superior to the rest of the population here. And when I do go to other galaxies, you should hear the doofuses back home: Isn't it expensive? Aren't the Floogmumpers rude? Do they have McDonalds? So I'd have to agree with you, 99 per cent of earthlings are a waste of time, but not me.
Dec 21st, 2000, 01:01 PM
#6
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I'm sorry that I made a typo in my first sentence. I meant to say "the reason that most earthlings don't travel is...." Blame it on the terrible education system here on earth. Fortunately, I usually manage to rise above it, superior intellect that I am, but this time I didn't.
Dec 21st, 2000, 01:16 PM
#7
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Don't try and fool us lulubelle - you're just like Gypsie Rose Lee who spoke white trash french - "I'll have a creepy and some creamy brulay". Stay in coach dear where you belong - and tell the other riff raff to shut up. Damn Iberia for not having the right gin.
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Dec 21st, 2000, 01:21 PM
#8
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Dear Throg, <BR> <BR>You ninny! Don't invite them up here! Look what they've done to their own planet. Next thing you know, we'll have McDonald's wrappers floating around Saturn and there will be a Starbucks on Jupiter. Shut up, will ya? <BR> <BR>Orion
Dec 21st, 2000, 01:29 PM
#9
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Throg: If I were to travel to your galaxy, would I be accepted as another Throg-type if I wore my black spacesuit? What type of moonboots do Throg-types wear? Can I wear my Space-hosen during the summer, or will that reveal that I am really an earthling? <BR>
Dec 21st, 2000, 02:17 PM
#11
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Throg, <BR> <BR>You craven idiot, don't you know that earthlings only live 2 or 3 nanoglurgs? If you put them in a normal Xnirk-type craft, they would only survive as far as K&%>\po|#7 in the J galaxy. Typical of you as a Grldpzpwq, and a profit-making one at that, to assume that others would risk death just to see the Puce Poohstick, and probably expect them pay you a commission to do it. The exchange rates are so bad right now, anyway -- I mean, .000057 dollars to the Pzpwq!
Dec 21st, 2000, 02:42 PM
#12
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: Throg, we are planning a trip to the Alpha Centauri 3 region next year and want to know what are the must see sights. I'm taking my 3 month old and 9 month old (don't ask)and can't wait! Sure, I'm a bit concerned about the jet lag, but we're prepared for it. I have a problem with those who say, "they won't remember it." I think it will be a wonderful learning experience fo rmy babies to poop and vomit all over strange and exotic galaxies. I apologize to the passengers that have to sit near us for the 200 light year journey, but we have the right to go wherever we so desire. Look for us in the finest restaurants in the universe, actually, you won't have to look, you will hear us long before you see us.
Dec 21st, 2000, 06:34 PM
#13
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I'm thinking about traveling to Outer Space for three days, and have a few questions:<BR>1) What are the must sees?<BR>2) Can you suggest a couple of good day trips?<BR>3) I'm French-Canadian; will *anyone* like me?<BR>4) What are some good souvenirs?<BR>5) Where's your red light district?<BR>6) I have coupons for 3 free nights in a Hilton - where's the closest one to the landing dock?<BR>7) Should I buy my ticket to Jupiter before I leave, or can I get it there?<BR>8) Are there luggage lockers at the Space Station?<BR>9) Are all Romulans as rude as all my friends say they are?<BR>10) Do you have gypsies?
Dec 21st, 2000, 07:21 PM
#14
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Gee, Throg, me and my spouse and small children would like to travel to your galaxy more, but there is this anti-child sentiment out there in the galaxy. Those anti-child life forms make traveling difficult: You know the alien type: Self-centered, non-carbon-based life forms whose travel habits are so fragile, smaller lifeforms threaten them. The anti-child life forms tend to believe that their travel plans are the only plans that matter, and they grow cranky very quickly, particularly if deprived of their snacks of self pity and hate. They make strange noises, like whining, whenever the subject of traveling with children arises, thereby immitating (badly) the children they so despise. Perhaps they don't like the competition. But now that I think about it, space travel is only available to us on PUBLIC space shuttles, so we will come visit your galaxy, even if we must travel with those anti-child lifeforms whose manners are so attrocious. See you soon.
Dec 21st, 2000, 09:17 PM
#15
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I am really surprised at you for asking such an insensitive question, Throg. Earthlings don't partake of much intergalactic travel for the most obvious of reasons: we are just way too fat. Honestly, it is quite a chore to find a decent space suit large enough for us, and the ones we do find are way too skimpy and revealing. <BR> <BR>Plus, our expansive flesh jiggles horribly when we're pulling some serious Gs. Now, how much fun is that? And don't get me started on how we could possibly shoehorn ourselves into a coach seat on one of those little space vehicles. Everyone can't travel first class, you know. <BR> <BR>Oh sure. You damn foreigners think you are just so superior. You with your scrawney limbs and bony behinds -- if that's what you call them. Well, listen to me now and hear me later, Throg. Our planet could kick your planet's butt, anytime, anyplace. <BR> <BR>Get a life!
Dec 22nd, 2000, 05:23 AM
#18
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To: Screaming <BR> <BR>No problem bringing the babies - our whole family has enjoyed our trip in space. Your learning experience can be enhanced as long as a robot can be packed to help in all situations. If you meet a strange doctor, though, don't trust him. <BR> <BR>Will
Dec 22nd, 2000, 05:29 AM
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Personally, I don't go for the opposite reasons others are saying. Sure the anti-child thing bothers me, since I have a two year old now (I think she would like space though - lots of funny looking things). However, I don't go because it has become so commercialized. Space, like our own Europe, is just not what it used to be. I went up toward Romulus (or something like that a few years ago) and saw nothing but Vulcan-inspired orbiting ads and Vulcan-style restaurants. Go figure - you never would have guessed from Spock that the Vulcans would end up screwing up the Space culture like we did our own planet's culture (he just didn't seem that capitalistic). Right now, I had much rather just go to Cancun and Vegas, which are incredibly authentic in comparison.
